Isn't alcohol involved in many crimes? So this is probably just going full circle.

Interestingly, what you have there is the only known photo of a vaporizer pistol found in the wreckage of an as yet unidentified vehicle now housed in - WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT THIS SUBMISSION HAS BEEN INDEFINITELY INTERRUPTED UNDER TERMS OF A FEDERAL ACT WE ARE NOT AT LIBERTY TO DISCLOSE, LET ALONE ADMIT ITS EXISTENCE. THE SUBMITTER REQUESTS DELIVERY OF THE "UNSEEN UNIVERSITY" TEE SHIRT IN SIZE 2X. WE WILL CONTACT YOU WITH DELIVERY INSTRUCTIONS, AS HE IS NO LONGER REACHABLE AT HIS USUAL ADRESS.

Genetic engineering HAS GONE TOO FAR!

In other news, bouts of explosive diarrhea are in a worrisome decline. And later... herpes! We'll show you how. Now here's Ted to tell you about the four exciting new snow storms East Coasters will be celebrating over the next six days.

I can't think of anything more boring than watching someone sit at a computer 18 hours a day.

Crocs

Your milling output has declined this week, John. Don't make me send you to the Temple of Set.

We're going to need bigger chips!

Maybe this is where Amish paradise really is!

(note: this is a reference to the Weird Al song, not a mockery of the religious beliefs of any Amish folks who might be reading these comments online.)

All the ivy I'm familiar with wouldn't let go without taking the brickwork with it. I've spent some long hours scraping ivy loose. Seeing vines peel off in a sheet like this would almost be an orgasmic experience.

I loved this! That kitten is sooo lucky! This guy's a keeper, for sure. And he cooks, too! omg

Most. boring. vine. ever.

That video makes me happy to be working at home, at my own desk, all by myself.

Football players are currently trained to use their helmets as weapons. This is largely because of the hard outer shell. I've heard several people advocate to going back to a softer helmet so that won't be possible.