your memory is better when you breathe, because if you stop breathing you die

NERRRDS

i liked him better in Batman 89

kinda disappointed @johnlewis hasn't found me true love and a higher paying job
#coulddobetter #sorrynotsorry

the over zealous patriotism and adulation of hillary clinton for example

the real question here is, why are ancient aliens eating burnt steaks
O_o

well they didn't have totinos pizzas

general tso's turkey would probably be pretty good
wait that's chinese cuisine sorry about that

I agree the more foreign metals under the skin the better.

they look married

Let's just say, without going into detail out of respect for everyone here, that there's a lot of...views HP Lovecraft had that were "shocking" to say the least.

He's not the person people think he is. I'll leave it at that.

I just texted this to my parents and they were howling with laughter. Next year I'm going to up the stakes and ask them how to microwave a 50-pound turkey.

If people aren't stealing lunches where you work, or bullying you for not sharing, then you're probably working from home.