So, a neutron walked into a bar and said "I'd like a beer, please."
After the bartender gave him one, he said "How much will that be?"
"For you?" said the bartender "No charge."
Alex Santoso's Blog Posts
Clara Meadmore said that sex seemed a "hassle" and she's glad that she has done without it for all of her 105 years!
Over the years many a centenarian has delivered their secret for a long life.
Not smoking, daily exercise, moderate drinking, being married (and sometimes not being married) have all had their champions.
But, at the ripe old age of 105, Clara Meadmore could trump the lot: a life of celibacy.
Miss Meadmore says she has always been too busy for relationships and thought of physical intimacy as a 'hassle'.
Photo: Geoff Hichens/APEX
Photo: Lilo Hess/Time Life Pictures/Getty Images
From National Geographic's extensive photo archives, here is an intriguing photo of a burrfish on a mic. Too bad it wasn't singing karaoke or anything like that:
"You don't think of fish as making noises, but many do. They grunt, purr, drum, croak, and grind their teeth!" wrote F. Barrows Colton in the January 1945 Geographic, where this photo first appeared. As part of an experiment to record fish noises at a New York aquarium, photographer Lilo Hess used a pinch of fish food to lure this striped burrfish to the microphone. Despite its resemblance to a big band crooner, however, the bug-eyed burrfish doesn't vocalize through its lips but by grinding its teeth to display distress or aggression—or attract mates.
Link (Flash, ninth photo in the gallery) - Thanks Marilyn Terrell!
As US debt exceeded $10 trillion for the first time and caused the National Debt Clock ... to run out of digits!
The national debt clock, the unofficial tracker of the federal deficit maintained by the Durst Organization in New York, has reached its limits. Last month, as the national debt exceeded $10 trillion for the first time, the clock ran out of digits to record the number.
The dollar sign in the clock had to be deleted and replaced with a one to record the massive number. The clock’s owners say a new model — with space for two extra digits — will be in place early next year.
Now here's a brilliant idea: a woman decided that she wanted to bring something special for halloween, so she packed a human skull in her checked luggage! Guess what happened next:
Tucson International Airport security were greeted with quite the surprise Wednesday morning when they discovered a human skull in a piece of checked luggage. [...]
The female passenger who owned the luggage had already boarded her flight, but was pulled off by security personnel for questioning.
According to TSA, the woman says the skull was brought back by her boyfriend after his military deployment in Okinawa, Japan. The woman says she was taking the skull to Philadelphia for halloween.
http://www.kvoa.com/global/story.asp?s=9147311
No, that's not a mistake. Nor is it a photo from a year ago. That truly is gas for under $3 - but to get it, you have to travel all the way to Georgetown, South Carolina:
AAA of the Carolinas reported drivers were snagging the best deals on Wednesday at the Winyah One Stop on Highmarket Street, as cars lined up for the $2.86 bargain for unleaded regular gas. Gas prices dipped even lower than $2.86 Thursday morning, dropping 8 cents in one night.
The owners of Gene's Country Store saw much of the same activity earlier this week after dropping the price of gas 20 cents on Monday. Prices opened the week at $3.15 before falling to a steady $2.95 per gallon. As of Thursday morning fuel reports, the store, also located on Highmarket Street, has continued the bargain for locals into the beginning of the weekend.
http://www.wmbfnews.com/Global/story.asp?S=9150334&nav=menu675_2
Tired of seeing renters who are caught in the mortgage meltdown being kicked out to the curb, Sheriff Thomas J. Dart of Cook County, Illinois, took a brave step: he's going to stop serving eviction notices!
"These poor people are seeing everything they own put out on the street. ... They've paid their bills, paid them on time. Here we are with a battering ram at the front door going to throw them out. It's gotten insane," he said.
Mortgage companies are supposed to identify a building's occupants before asking for an eviction, but sheriff's deputies routinely find that the mortgage companies have not done so, Dart said.
"This is an example where the banking industry has not done any of the work they should do. It's a piece of paper to them," Dart said.
"These mortgage companies ... don't care who's in the building," Dart said Wednesday. "They simply want their money and don't care who gets hurt along the way.
"On top of it all, they want taxpayers to fund their investigative work for them. We're not going to do their jobs for them anymore. We're just not going to evict innocent tenants. It stops today."
Being a customer service representative is thankless job. Customers with problems are usually angry and often take out their anger on the person they're talking to over the phone.
So Jake Bronstein of Zoomdoggle decided to do something about it. Like thanking the customer service rep for no other reason but just being nice!!
What can I say, it’s fun brightening other people’s day… so again, today, after lunch, I decided to ring up the customer service devision of a company I don’t use at all, just to say thanks to whoever picked up. You know, to spread some joy in a place that’s normally pretty joyless. This time I got the sound going right, next time I’ll get the chat going right. Did I tell you it’s something I plan on doing often?
Hit play or go to Link [YouTube] - Thanks Jay Neivitch!
Bad idea: breaking into a car to steal a satnav system
Really bad idea: breaking into a police car ...
Neatorama-worthy: ... that has a covert surveillance camera, then revealing your name and date of birth tattooed on your neck!
Aaron Evans, 21, was filmed breaking into the Peugeot 106 in an NCP carpark before making off with a stolen sat-nav.
He not only failed to spot the covert camera filming his every move but had the incriminating tattoo 'Evans 19.9.87' on his neck.
Don't you hate it when someone reads over your shoulder? Well, apparently it does not bother Jackie Farrier at all - in fact, she and her husband let their donkey Polly, their colt Charlie, and the rest of their 29 pets to wander around the house and join them at the dinner table!
Mrs Ferrier said her two children James, 12 and nine-year-old Lucy 'do not mind it because they have grown up with it and are used to it really'.
'It is very amusing because friends come over and there are chickens wondering around.
'It is definitely different. Life would be boring if we were the same as everyone else.'
Not News: feeding a mouse to a snake.
News: feeding mighty mouse to a snake!
Here's the story of how firefighters in Taiwan who caught a snake were surprised to find that the intended meal ended up killing the snake!
Firefighters in Nantou town, Taiwan, caught the 35cm snake and put it into a mouse cage for safe-keeping. "We then found it a mouse for lunch," a spokesman for the team told Apple Daily.
But the firefighters were stunned to see how aggressive the mouse became once it saw the predator in the cage.
"It attacked the snake continuously, biting and scratching it," the spokesman added. After a vicious 30 minute battle, the snake was dead and the mouse was left with hardly a scratch.
Parents: tired of dealing with unruly teens? Wish you could just drop him or her off and be done with it?
Well, because of a poorly worded safe haven law in Nebraska, people are doing just that:
Nebraska's vaguely worded safe-haven law has already been exposed as ripe for abuse by allowing kids as old as 18 to be abandoned by their parents, but a new problem cropped up when a 14-year-old Iowa girl was brought across the Missouri River and left at an Omaha hospital.
The teenager left at Creighton University Medical Center on Tuesday -- the 17th child abandoned since Sept. 13 -- came from Council Bluffs, Iowa, which sits just east across the river from Nebraska's largest city. [...]
State Sen. Arnie Stuthman of Platte Center, who introduced legislation that was the basis for the law, has said he initially intended to protect infants from immediate danger. Senators who pushed for the law's expansion have said they intended to help a broader age range, imagining a toddler or other young child needing help. They didn't expect parents to drop off older children who, they said, are more likely to escape a dangerous situation.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-ap-ne-safehaven,0,6599564.story
Vladimir Putin, the "world's most manly leader," has yet another display of his masculinity: a new "Let's Learn Judo with Vladimir" DVD!
Today he presented the instructional judo DVD that shows him throwing an opponent to the mat.
'Let's Learn Judo with Vladimir Putin' is the product of collaboration between Putin - a black belt - and former World and Olympic judo champion Yasuhiro Yamashita.
At a nighttime presentation minutes into his 56th birthday, Putin said the title was little more than an 'advertising trick'.
Anyone who watches it 'will be learning not from your humble servant but from real geniuses' of the martial art, he said.
Email This Post to a Friend