A police horse shit on me. RT @McDonalds Happy Tuesday everyone! How's your day going? @IamEnidColeslaw
Team Twaggies's Blog Posts
If someone doesn't stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it's totally cool & legal to fart in their face as you walk by. @kellyoxford
One billion dollars? They could have just downloaded it for free. @maxniederhofer
Free idea: Kitchen-counter-sized Post-It notes. When the counter is dirty, you just tear it off. @sadmonsters
there must be a German word for this: when you're using the iPhone version of an iPad app because you're too cheap to buy it again @codinghorror
~Original Illustration by: HelloAgainGirls.com~
"It's not you, it's me." - Identical twins arguing over a photo. @kelkulus
Relationships are like IKEA furniture. You feel a sense of pride after building them and they fall apart after a few years. @Smethanie
"You give me one leather jacket, I invest it, then give you back TWO leather jackets!" - Fonzi Scheme @shelbyfero
There are many things a woman can regret, but the "short haircut" phase is usually number one. @anjeanettecÂ
When I have a shit day, I imagine a T-Rex trying to shuffle cards and everything is fine again. @ProSexTips
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