are you there god? it's-a me, mario @misandristcutie
Team Twaggies's Blog Posts
~Illustrated by: @hollandersauce~
My sister’s Chihuahua hasn’t stopped shivering in 9 years. @CrystalMoonable
I just flew in from a thesaurus convention. And boy are my arms somniferous. @ericicomedy
Ladies: we're not fooled by your PMS trickery. I see how happy you are in those tampon commercials. @mdvaldosta
1. Eat stack of pancakes for breakfast.
2. Go on diet.
3. Eat carrot for lunch.
4. Yell at kids.
5. Cry.
6. Eat 45 oreos.  @NotJPo
~Original illustration by: Mitra Farmand~
Imagine a person you are jealous of. Now, imagine them wearing Crocs. Feel better? @hipstermermaid
I don't care if they ban texting and driving; my middle finger out the driver's side window will always be the original instant message. @PyrBliss
Love means never having to say anything because you're both looking at your smart phones -Â @meganamram
I haven't spoken to my wife in 8 days because she hates it when I interrupt her  @OneFunnyBastard
I wish I loved anything as much as morning radio hosts love their own jokes. @GavinPivott
If God made everything then he must be somewhere in China. @HalfJewHalfMisc
Homeless people love a handout, but they love using the blood pressure machine at CVS even more. @anjeanettec
~Original SJP Illustration by: YourPersonalCartoonist~
Nickelback is terrible, Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse and bacon is delicious. Can we all please move on now? @OhNoSheTwitnt
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