#TDSBreakingNews NJ Gov. Chris Christie calls @NewtGingrich "an embarrassment". Gingrich farts his reply in morse code. @TheDailyShow

This is a first for us! All day today we'll be publishing Twaggies based on tweets we've enjoyed recently over @TheDailyShow. It's like Tripple Shot Thursday only with comics, on a sunday, without any music, and if Kevin Coffee were the DJ, oh, and without any commercials in-between. Yeah. Like that. Hope you dig it. If you do, maybe we'll pick another theme next weekend and rock that out all day long. Tonight: How self-righteous do you think Brooklynites can get? Now double it. Now double it again. - @TheDailyShow

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. It - @jscottwilson

I can't be the only one who's wondered if the cereal bag would hold milk. - @PyrBliss

Not saying Thank You when someone holds the door for you. #ThatsGangster @HarleyPlays

My wife complains that I never open the car door for her, then when I finally do, she's all "SLOW DOWN, IT'S NOT FUNNY! WE'RE ON A BRIDGE!!" @Coastiefish

Sometimes I feel like a fat guy trapped in a fat guy's body.  @JimGaffigan

~Original illustration by: Wobbly Goggy.~

Today's goal: kick some ass. @ATXGastronomist

Sometime after I write it. Definitely not before that. RT @mrconti:@keithlaw when does your report on Charleston come out?

Going on the radio in 15 minutes. I might be the 1st person to throw up on live radio. Possibly the second. @TheBloggess

~Original illustration by: Wobbly Goggy.~

I carry a knife, but it's just in case of cake. @Aspersioncast

My life is about 80% waiting until it's time to eat food @nedroid

  ~Illustrated by Joy and Noelle of Twins Are Weird~

Hey people that sit on planes not reading, listening to or watching anything: you look like serial killers. @JimGaffigan

Hard tacos are just soft tacos from the streets. @prodigalsam

Outside the window, Mark stood in the moonlight, serenading Vicky. Her heart remained closed, unmoved by the sounds of his tuba. @VeryShortStory