Team Twaggies's Blog Posts

no. 314 - @yoyoha

Dear Women, We don't know how to imply anything, so please stop getting mad at us for that.

Love, Men @yoyoha  

~ Illustration by: Gary Krejca~

 

no. 313 - @OuterJohn

"I have no son." -- Lumberjack discovering his son with waffles instead of pancakes - @OuterJohn  

~Illustration by: Carnilius R~


no. 312 - @snowness

I've decided to impose celibacy on myself. Now I can pretend I'm not getting laid out of personal choice. @snowness  

~Illustration by: Carnilius R~

 


no. 311 - @rosa

If I ever get married, the pre-nup will stipulate that bending the corners of a book's pages is grounds for divorce. - @rosa  

~Illustration by: Pete Hillstrom~


no. 310 - @JordyHamrick

If I ever commit a murder and need to somewhere to hide the body, I have the perfect place in mind... MySpace. - @JordyHamrick  

~Illustration by: Zach Rodis~ 


no. 309 - @JordyHamrick

Its pretty adorable how raccoons and deer take naps on the side of highways all the time. - @JordyHamrick  

~Illustration by: Kevin Coffee~


no. 307 - @DrTwittenheimer

Staring longingly at the door works for my cats, but I tried it in a meeting and no one let me out. - @DrTwittenheimer

 

no. 306 - @puresurplus

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him. - @puresurplus  

no. 305 - @JennyJohnsonHi5

I view cooking the same way I view having kids. I can do it, I just don't want to. - @JennyJohnsonHi5

no. 308 - @Wussawilla

So, when you're sexting.. do you get a phoner? - @Wussawilla  

~Illustration by: Pete Hillstrom~


no. 304 - @YeahImAshley

After sex, guys have the same problem as a murderer: what to do with the body. - @YeahImAshley

~Illustration by: Kaz Foxsen~


no. 303 - @ixSEANxi

They're tweets, not Hemingway. Get the fuck over yourselves. - @ixSEANxi

~Illustration by: Carnilius R~


no. 302 - @YourFavWhiteGuy

If your girl & her BFF are always saying "OMG, we're pretty much the same person!" then you can bang her friend. #notcheating #sameperson @YourFavWhiteGuy
 

~Illustration by: Emily Niland~


no. 301 - @albertcuesta

The small chicken has said enough, it does not want to lay more eggs #catenglish - @albertcuesta  

no. 300 - @MauriceBlitz

Went to a job fair today. Got my resume painted on my face. :) - @MauriceBlitz  

~Illustration by: Kaz Foxsen~


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Profile for Team Twaggies

  • Member Since 2013/05/06


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