This is my new tweet format: reasonable beginning followed by REALLY PSYCHOTIC SUGGESTION IN ALL CAPS. - @brattyunicorn
Team Twaggies's Blog Posts
~Illustration by Mike Force~
You'd think rappers would start buying better microphones instead of having to check it in the beginning of every song. - @MisterPrankster~Illustration by:Â Carnilius R~
Overs, Worst To Best:
1) Comb
2) Hang
3) Left
4) Make
5) Sleep
- @donni
wow, birds truly do not give a fuck huh? - @sbellelauren
~Illustration by:Â Greg Smith~
If you ever saw a baby unicorn sneeze you would literally die from the cuteness. - @ProdigalSam
I called out my wife's name during sex one time and she walked in to see what I needed. Won't make that mistake again. - @rodney_at_large
~Illustration by Caleb Olson~
There's a Leprechaun museum in Ireland with giant furniture you can sit on, if anyone was wondering why I've died and gone to HEAVEN!!! @shelbyfero
~Illustration by: Greg Smith~
Girlfriend was waiting for me when I got home. Girlfriend is what I nicknamed my empty, unfurnished silent apartment of sadness. - @lazerdoov
~Illustration by:Â Emily Niland~
My nephew's birthday is coming up. I wonder what you get for the boy who is made entirely of mucus. @Brain_Wash
~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
If a woman had given Albert Einstein a handjob, it would have been a stroke of genius. - @Joshinator
~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
Most days I am so fucking awesome, the roses stop and smell me. - @LaughingLesbian
~Illustration by: Niki Waters~
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