The entire first half of the toilet paper roll is no good to my 3yr old.
Apparently @kickassjenn
Team Twaggies's Blog Posts
Some of you smoke so much weed that I'm pretty sure Bob Marley had a poster of you on his wall. @vonbunnie
 ~Illustration by: Kevin Coffee~
Never judge a book by its movie. -Â @Fallun_Angel~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
Don't put words in my mouth. I keep my feet in there. @juicymorsel
They say couples should never go to bed angry. That's why married people always look so tired. -Â @kellysdf
~Illustration by:Â Jeff Naslund~
They should just replace the noise that car alarms make with the sounds of toddlers having a meltdown. Nobody can ignore that shit. -Â @violetsiva~Illustration by:Â Sam Dakota~
Try not to let your head grow along with your followers count; humans tend to gather around car wrecks, too. - @TheBosha
~Illustration by:Â Matt Lassen~
There is NO WAY that Bert and Ernie are gay. They haven't changed their outfits in 25 years. -Â @Joan_Rivers
~Illustration by:Â Carnilius R~
Guitars are really just guns that shoot music. -Â @donni
~Illustration by:Â Carnilius R~
"I'll hold you, but just for tonight" - hair spray -Â @CuddlyNinja~Illustration by:Â Jeff Naslund~
Sometimes I wish there was a zombie apocalypse just so I can hit my neighbors in the face with a shovel. -Â @violetsiva~Illustration by:Â Matt Lassen~
My iphone just told me that the bible needs updating. - @Hellraisinbgrrl
~ Illustration by:Â Gary Krejca~
Women, you're doing it wrong. Try wearing your emotions on your breasts. We're not paying much attention to your sleeves. - @OneLinersPlus
Email This Post to a Friend