~Illustration by:Â Ingrid Doering~
I'm sorry, the percentage of your sentences that begin with "And I was like" has become too high for me to know you. -Â @SnarkToastTeam Twaggies's Blog Posts
~Illustration by:Â Pete Hillstrom~
If you have the google homepage on screen when someone suddenly walks into your room, you're not fooling anyone. @true_godfather
Grizzly, panda, polar. Grizzly, panda, polar. Grizzly, panda, polar. Sorry to be redundant, but it's bears repeating. @Schindizzle
I like when my hair blows across my face while I'm driving because it makes me feel sexy & dangerous in my minivan. -Â @lunchyprices
I am just One Bad relationship away from Owning 30 Cats – @LunaticOnEdge
 ~Illustrated by: Chelsea Zareczny~
After years of research, studies show that I don't like when people who smell like bologna sit next to me on the train. - @rachow
I heard that purgatory is just a room full of teenage girls blogging and rolling their eyes at you. @charstarlene
~Illustration by:Â Matt Lassen~
You've really got to hand it to me. Because I'm small, and likely can't reach. -Â Â @Kimmittable~Illustrated by: Chelsea Zareczny~
Some days I just really wish I could bring my dog to work. - @thevowel
~Illustration by:Â Matt Lassen~
This hot girl barely thanked me after I gave her a shot for shot recap of the Doctor Who finale. That's the last time I do something nice. -Â @NickSchug
~Illustration by:Â Pete Hillstrom~
Spiders would probably be a lot less terrifying if they had to wear roller skates. @gruntmuffin~Illustration by: Kevin Coffee~
If you are proud of your follower count, know my 33yo brother lives with my parents, tweets ONLY about Star Trek & has over 8,000 followers -Â Â @Cheeseboy22
I like to yell "boo-ya!!" and slap my coupons down on the check-out lane so people know I'm serious about saving 75 cents - @HeyitsLori
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