If you spoon with a fat person, is it called ladling? @Smethanie
Team Twaggies's Blog Posts
Me: What's the capital of Ohio?
Son: ...
Me: It's also a famous explorer.
Son: Dora?
Me: Yep. Dora, Ohio. @dannymch2o
Illustration by @Robgog
Calling yourself "most trusted name in news" is like claiming to be the most handsome member of The Ramones. @senorwinces
Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them. @AmberTozer
I just received a thank-you card from someone I sent a thank-you card to. Oh, it's on. @erica_rosie
Dentist says I need to be more aggressive when flossing, so I’m going to start barking. @Molly_Kats
~Illustration by:Â Pete Hillstrom~
Hipsterpotamus = that fat trendy kid in tight jeans. @brentsisley
We have so much in common. You want to travel . . . I want you to go . . . @BDGarp
I was kidnapped by a pack of mimes. They performed unspeakable acts on me. - @YUCKYBOT
Is it weird to shout "Autobots Transform" when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend @BJayNash
~Illustration by:Â Matt Lassen~
You know a relationship is starting to sour when the "I" gets dropped from "I love you." @Smethanie~Illustrated by Bronwyn Lundberg~
When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and whisper, “Who did this to you?â€Â @Ty_Schutz
Man, I sure could go for one of those sandwiches that fat men in movies make in the middle of the night @lunchyprices
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