~Original CapsLock illustration by: Eke~
CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980. @GarreTheFerretTeam Twaggies's Blog Posts
Don't hate on Americans for not learning a foreign language. Hate on Americans for not learning English. @Naan_Conformist
~Illustrated by: Sal Oxford~
Hey, songs about love. That's enough. We get it. - @DamienFahey
Sometimes I let my plants get dangerously close to death, and then save them at the last minute just so they know who’s the boss - @StealthyJessÂ
~Zombie Illustration by Darren Calvert~
James Joyce's work entered public domain. Shouldn't be long before someone writes "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Zombie." - @rosa
You can do anything you want with your life... until you have kids. @VerifiedDrunk
Mad Libs inventor died today of POOPING. He is survived by his PIZZA CHEESE and his LAWN DARTS. He will be A DINOSAURÂ @MikeDrucker
Dear Women,
We forgot about Valentine's Day because we can't stop thinking about how lucky we are to even know you.
Love, Men @yoyoha
For some reason I have a harder time holding my liquor during the winter. I think it's the mittens. @Burgee66
Still trying to make the connection between 10 gallon hats and roast beef sandwiches. You are a mysterious vixen, Arbys @Qu4rtKn33
~Illustration by: Â Christoph Niemann~
My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes. @senderblock23Guns don't kill people. Unfulfilling desk jobs kill people. Slowly. 5 days a week. Until they're empty shells. @OhNoSheTwitnt
Today I saw a baby with a bib that said "This dumb ass put my cape on backwards"Â @crston7
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