~Original Illustration by: @bluedelliquanti~
When my phone says "searching," I hold it to my heart & whisper "Me too, phone, me too," then burst into tears @MrsRupertPupkinTeam Twaggies's Blog Posts
When I see a teenager with a backpack, I just assume it's filled with exclamation points for their status updates. @DamienFahey
~Original Illustration by: @JamieSaleToons~
The worst part about having a vagina is I came to the mechanic for an oil change and he convinced me my car needs a flux capacitor. -Â @Smethanie
You are right, autocorrect. It is sometimes hard to make a woman origami. @VocabuLarry
~Original illustration by: Vixely.com~
I know Congress has its hands tied, but surely Parliament can do something about Paul McCartney's new album title ... -Â @JohnRossBowie (this Twaggie is NOT for sale)
My bucket list: 1. Buy bucket 2. Add ice 3. Add 12 beers 4. Drink. @thecrudemale
When I was younger they made fun of me because I was different. I laugh at them now, because they are all the same. @crston7
The lengths I'm willing to go to avoid somebody I know in a supermarket could count as cardio. -Â @capricecrane
Bands who can't afford a smoke machine should hire my girlfriend to cook at their concert @joeljeffrey
Stupid people: please say "DOY DOY DOY" a lot so we can recognize you faster. - @KenJennings
Mashup cartoon based on an original by always amazing J.C. Duffy (this Twaggie is NOT for sale)
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills, with a rubber band around it... I found the rubber band @GarreTheFerret
 ~Illustration by: Kevin Coffee~
Why does the person right in front of me at Subway always treat building a sandwich like they're buying a f#@&ing car?  @bulls_horns
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