OK, so I'm going to tell the story of the Hobbit. Only, no dwarves. Or elves. Or wargs, eagles, Battles of Five Armies, or anything else. And change the names of Smaug and Gollum. Also, "troll" and "goblin" sound too weird, so make up some names for those, and turn the trolls into trees instead of stone for no apparent reason. Also don't give Thorin or Gandalf anything to do, really. But add a crossbow made of refuse, a guardsman who literally has no role in the story, and oh yeah, a child-princess who ickily falls in love with and partners up with the middle-aged hobbit protagonist. Also, circular mountain range!

Man, that trumps the "Beatles Lord of the Rings" project as the most ill-advised Tolkien-related project that thankfully never got off the ground, ever.

Bonus points if Saturn is the only one that floats in water. Also, are Jupiter and Mars reversed in the pic?

Sorry, White Sox cap. Just assumed it was a Yankees cap because, y'know, New York.

I love how the kid in the Yankees cap's Subway Face cracks when she starts the first rap section of the song.

Well, screw you too, nature.

Tom Six had better not see this.

Good. Iron Chef will probably be running out of secret ingredients by then.

Done the beer-cooler sous vide thing with steaks. Maybe the best non-restaurant steaks I've ever eaten.

You want to throw the meat on the grill for about 30 seconds after it's "done," though, because the char is important. Grey steak is ugly.

Huh. Looks like Vader's got an extra black ball down there.

(Oh, and GertFroebe's just upset that nobody care that he spray-paints his Christmas tree gold every year.)

"So I just push this button and OH GOD NO MY BABY NOOOOOOOOOOOO SOMEONE CALL 911 GOD WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

Quick! Draft these guys to fight the walking octopuses?

I say he can have his $25 billion, BUT he has to get it in $1 bills AND he has to eat them all, one by one. And we put it on Pay-per-view. Proceeds and whatever's left after he chokes to death go to shelters and food banks.

Was the abrupt end because the dog finally snuffled a bit too close to the action?

Jesus Hopping Christ. Say, I wonder where the idea for Gamera could have come from.

I wouldn't call it 100% timewasting (especially if it was done by one's double while in the period when two versions of that person are in the same timeline oh god I'm a huge geek); it's actually kind of nice to see that someone puzzled it out and found that the whole thing makes sense within the milieu of the film. It could easy have just been mad randomness for the last 20 minutes or so, and it strengthens the film to know it's more rigorous than that.