I'm pretty sure the idiots at TSA also consider "white guy with no criminal intent or history" to be mighty suspicious, based on the number times they've hauled me off to the side for an extra-personal patdown (10 seconds after successfully walking through the metal detector).

If his lines ever cross, he'll be on a little ice-island. Then he'll sink.

Interesting. Now they need to determine whether that one prescription is a lucky fluke, or whether the other recipes in the book work, too.

His body looks 35. His head looks 123. So yeah, on average, he looks 79.

American Airlines tends to use the subtle 1000-strangers-have-farted-in-your-seat-cushion scent, occasionally blended with a faint baby-vomit aroma.

Wonder if the Hamburgler hangs out with him.

"...Blanchard gained a massive fanbase nad ..." Huh-huh-huh. You said 'nad'. Huh-huh.

This charity fad is great news for the people who sell Twizzlers.

"The mother cow can’t nurse all four calves..."
I thought cows came perfectly-equipped to nurse four calves.

.66 Mb/sec. I hate you, AT&T.

In the future with self-driving cars, driver licenses will be obsolete. Rich children will own their own cars, which will drive them around. Speeding tickets will also become obsolete, and so the revenue that nasty little speed-trap towns (looking at you, Woodsboro, TX!) will finally dry up. OR....
With the dip in revenue from speeding tickets and driver licenses, nasty little towns won't be able to afford cops. They'll become havens for warlords. I'll bet the warlords will disable the autonomy of their self-driving cars.