The crash did more than damage the two trucks; it rectum!

(Game of Thrones spoiler)
Daenerys Targaryen went to call her dragons, but some stupid cows showed up instead.

Awwww. This 'poor' student doesn't have time to get (or wash?) a proper utensil, but DOES have time to take photos of her food on a cellphone that costs several hundred dollars? Also, when one is in college, one ought to know how to spell second-grade words like 'spoon'. It ain't that hard.

Made it through 24 seconds? By then I was too annoyed? With her constant questions? That I quit watching.

Moving too fast too soon DOES make people crazy. We've all seen crazy drivers speeding through a residential area or through a red light.

The guy with the camera stopped at the end because he suddenly had to change his underwear.

Does hanging an empty Wal-mart shopping on a doorknob instead of buying a trash can count as a DIY? Or am I just cheap?

Alternative title: "How To Tell When You Have Too Much Money"

I canceled my expensive landline 6 years ago, in favor of a much-cheaper cellphone. Yet I still get the unwanted phone book every year, which goes straight into the garbage can. Sorry, trees.

Sounds gross, but a $17 grossburger is better than the other option: vegemite.

All of the Americans I know are grumps. We don't smile; we scowl.

Impressive!

...or you can have a bicycle with brakes.

I'm so badass, I even know how to spell. (I can also punctuate. See?)