One of the 94 signs must be "look out for single white guys who have done nothing wrong and already passed safely through a metal detector". Been hauled aside three times at different airports!

"The difference between loud farts and silent farts would appear to have nothing to do with the smell..." Obviously Miss C was never a boy scout. Spend a weekend cooped up in a tent with 4 other guys, while surviving on a diet of baked beans and Swiss Miss. Every scout learns that the noisy ones are harmless; it's the quiet ones you gotta watch out for.

Smells like the hand soap they have in the Whataburger bathrooms.

"He who farts in church sits in his own pew." - Confucious

Never heard of it. (And I DON'T live in a cave, Alex. It's a Hobbit hole.)

Besides ghosts, looks like London Underground has a problem with thieves; somebody has stolen the punctuation marks from the sign.

"If a man sporteth not a mustache which is wider than his face, then he is not fit to be wed." (According to the photo.)

'Philippines'

Won't work for me. My enemies use 10mm bullets.