Coswell Spurs, for riding wolly mammoths. When I was young, after the glaciers receded, we'd all gather together and have a mammoth rodeo. I laugh at these so called 'cowboys' and their 10 seconds on a bull. After we 'broke' the mammoth, we'd have a big barbeque, if you know what I mean. If we didn't 'break' the mammoth, well, there would be no need for the barbeque.

Guns don't kill people, dads with daughters kill people. White, XL

An Ice trowel, to shape ice into blocks to fit into ice wagons to be sold to people to put into Ice boxes.

Everytime I see one I get chills.

Battle damage, Mens XL

Insulated nursing bra, used by eskimoos. Modern versions have built in heaters, but you have to test it on the back of your hand first.

T shirt, XL voices in my head

It is a musical intrument, of sorts. called a Youch. The player touches the points with their fingertips, while blindfolded, and releases a cry of pain and surprise. It is usually accompanied by a bass drum. It never became mainstream, but is still performed in hipster coffee houses.

T shirt, good Marx, Bad Marx, grey XL

XL

Flensing tools. They bring a shudder to me as look upon them. The smell of fresh blubber, the shreeks of the gulls, the creak of the mast, the crisp breaze that takes it away momentarily, but then dies and it all returns. The horror and fascination of the disassembly of the greatest beings on the planet, their blood washing over your boots, the laughter of the other sailor, the bones, their teeth.

God how I miss it.

Tshirt, its as bad as you think, Grey

I've played 1.0, 2.5, 3.0. 3.5,4.0 and 4.5. All the versions have some merit, but its a dead horse. If I start playing again, it would be 2.5.

Prior to the invention of cardboard, everything was made of metal. This is a cracker tin, it weighed six pounds. In those days grocery carts had heavy duty shocks and women shoppers had biceps like cataloups. So we men invented cardboard to keep the woman in her place.

The voices in my head tshit, blue xl

Its a paperclip that meets government design specs. It costs 289.47 and a special license to own and operate. We have boxes of these around my office, and only a few of us know what they are.

T shirt: Its as bad as you think, Black XL

This is a vetenary tool, with a long official name (Pachanasaldestrictus, I think), but its use is obvious if you ever seen an elephant with a blocked trunk. What is not commonly known is that elephants are very sensitive about their trunks and would not let a human insert this, especially when they are in pain. To use this device, the elephant must either be sedated (risky) or hypnotised. I had that job, I hypnotised elephants. I don't want to go into how, but it involved body-paint and a pan-flute. The experience motivated me to go to night school.

T shirt, pointless stories are my thing, XL green

This is a fish agitator. Farm bred sturgeon get so lazy they don't wave their tails and develop Narcolepsy and mislay their eggs. In the 60's my first job was to wag their tails for twenty minutes a day, 1,500 a day. I was paid in fish eggs, which were acceptable currancy in the small northwest town I lived in. It had no name that anyone could remember, but I ramble. Today, its done by machines that are remotely controlled by someone in Malaysia, who actually pay for the experience. I think the town(except the fish farm) closed last winter, the inhabitants either starving to death or moving.

Tools Make the man, Grey XL

It is a saw handle, useful for handling saws. Before its invention, using saws was very dangerous to the fingers, so people used trained beavers. This little invention put hundreds of beaver trainers out of work, and they congregated in Wisconson, drinking from dusk to midnight, then going out on 'Beaver-runs,' causing untold destruction. Finally, the Wisconson National Guard was called out and the hooliganism ended. Wisconsin is now known for its calmness and cheese.

Tshirt, Green, XL half the people you know are below average.

Trick Question. It's suppossed to look like an ordinary metal pot with a lid, but the Bush Administration didn't invade Iran because of tin pot ideas, they invaded because of WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION! Which is what this is. really, thats why its in a museum.

T shirt, Man power tools grey xl

Sorry, forgot, men-tools t shirt grey xl

Its a Kurdlevadge, for catching the giant Krakens that inhabit Norway's Fjords. They were baited with the entrails of christian missionaires and cast from cliffs attached to a bronze chain wended with hair of a murdered maiden. It carries a powerful curse to all who know its real pur.....arrrrrrgh