Randall's Comments
Its an insidious device to trap unicorns, used by the CIA on islands in the Irish sea which mysteriously disappeared from any drawn map. After the horned horses were hunted into extinction in 1958, these were warehoused in New Jersey, in the vain hope a new hunting ground could be located. Hence, our military incursions into the mideast, where rumor holds that the one-horned beasts have been seen.
Tshirt: Damned if I do, Bored if I don't, XL Green
Tshirt: Damned if I do, Bored if I don't, XL Green
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This was invented by Gerard D. Kobblestammer as a two handed Fish Scaler, but no one wanted it because it was different from the one handed fish scalers in use at the time. So he sold it as a scalp massager and told everyone as an aside that it actually works better as a fish scaler, and made a tidy fortune. Unfortunately, he married a his cleaning woman, who was not as tidy, contracted syphillus and died penniless and insane. An intelligent man is not necessarily a wise man.
This dad knows Jack, Green XL
This dad knows Jack, Green XL
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This is a clock unwinder. In Victorian time it was feared that a clock left wound over the new year eve would cause infertility. The first thing that Victorian men would do on the New Years day was get out of bed to wind and set the clock. THe would then go back to bed and test for infertility. As a result of this pratice the clock unwinder was considered a very risque' item great care was taken to keep it stored descreetly. You can still find them in secret cubbyholes under staircases in older homes, covered with dust, biding their time.
Trophy Husband, Green XL
Trophy Husband, Green XL
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This device is what they used to take pap smears in the 1940's. It's name is forgotten, as doctors and patients simply called it: 'that thing.'
T shirt, Green XL 'Trophy Husband'
T shirt, Green XL 'Trophy Husband'
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It is a shulderfraag, a handheld tool for fine adjustment of earths rotation. Strange to see one anywhere but the North Pole.
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Its the first version of the modern fingernail clipper. It worked but needed lots of adjustments, but it cut all your fingernails at once. The toenail clipper design never worked well though.
T shirt Blue XL 'Remember little zombies, no running'
T shirt Blue XL 'Remember little zombies, no running'
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Its a camera. For airplanes, like a machine gun camera.
I make my own dance moves Xlarge
I make my own dance moves Xlarge
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Midieval! Darn it.
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Medevel Gynecological brace. The jar its resting on held a tallow candle.
T shirt: XL Grey, tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to do without it.
T shirt: XL Grey, tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to do without it.
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These are TanzenKopfeldingen, or Bavarian Dancing weights. Each spring the dancers would gather on the thinning ice of the Titsensee and perform their dance, repeatedly while carrying heavier and heavier weights. When the first one broke through the ice, sinking to the bottom while clutching the weight, the dance ended.
I don't think they do it anymore, because of Hitler or something.
T shirt XL zombies
I don't think they do it anymore, because of Hitler or something.
T shirt XL zombies
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Nonsparking Ziffle interrupt key for clockwork destructo robots. As you have that, and it is not attached to a robot, well somewhere there's going to be trouble.
T Shirt Tan XL"Relish Today, Ketchup Tommorow"
T Shirt Tan XL"Relish Today, Ketchup Tommorow"
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After the civil war, the surplus of cannons and cannon balls led to the invention of the game 'Artillery Golf.' THat is one of the 'holes.' The game was discontinued when someone didn't yell 'Fore' load enough.
Paddle Faster.. XL Green
Paddle Faster.. XL Green
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Its a cleat for ice, attached to boots for climbing on glaciers.
T shirt, they used to laugh and call me names XL green
T shirt, they used to laugh and call me names XL green
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Its a stock guage marker. However, back when I was busting gangs in the 30's I was in charge of 'interveiwing' suspects. If they began to get difficult, I'd take that out of my pocket and set it on the table. Then I'd tell my partner to hold his arms while I got his pants down. In a minute they'd be singing like a bird.
T shirt, XL green they used to laugh and call me names.
T shirt, XL green they used to laugh and call me names.
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Before the gasoline engine was perfected for cars (1952) they ran on windup, with multiple rubber bands. This was very embarrassing for most people, and was a constant source of amusement for the steam car crowd. So the myth that gasoline engines worked was started and cars didn't need winding. However, they did need winding but people did it in their garage where other people could not see them. Your grandfather probably carried the secret to his grave, as did most of his generation.
T shirt, green XL Damned if you do, bored if you don't