If I die tomorrow I want them to do this to me. Then put me in my living room so my wife and kids can always be near me.

"Kids, hug your dead cyborg daddy goodnight."

Bah. Even if I fed my kid every hour when he was little there's no way I could've grown one of these things.

The Hotel Calfornia one is not a chart but it's definitely one of the best.

Wow, to think.. almost 6,000 years old.

Crazy Sicilians.

lol, wiener poopie.

Impressive. I still don't want to buy a Focus.

Please somebody buy this and take a picture of what it really looks like!

Show me sports cars hunting seals! Now that's something I'd pay to see!

Fantastic.

Kitty's being a wee bit cheeky.

These are great, but you really need to start at the bottom and work your way up.

If by "wrong" you mean "hot" I totally see what you're saying.

"It’s a wonderful thing to do and I can’t understand why more men don’t do it."

The reason why more men don't do it is because... it's ballet.

Whoa. Now they should like paint it black and then it would be like super black!

Yes, the dad's tale must be the real story here. He must've had quite an adventure if he was at the bar for more than 12 hours.

And can we go back to the rubbing alcohol thing for a second? How would that help with what she was about to do? Wouldn't it make her more sick than help her with the pain? Did she decide she'd rather be blind while she was operating?