"I'd like a hot dog" tom said frankly.

"I sure do love to masturbate!" tom ejaculated.

"Those UAV's are amazing" tom droned.

"my ass sure hurts!" tom said cheekily.

"Someone stole my wheels" he said tirelessly.

@frau

i can think of another arrangement of digits i'd display in the face of such idiocy.

a custom burger joint near me called the counter offers some behemoth burgers. patty weights are after cooking and are offered in 1/3, 2/3 or a full pound. i usually get the 2/3s with bacon, grilled onions, fried onion strings, pepper jack, pineapple, jalapenos, sprouts and bbq sauce. guaranteed heart burn but god damn it's good.

@Ko

just had alligator a month ago, it is really good, probably not too far off from croc.

do you get to pick out which one you want, like you do with lobsters??

BTW, the proper solution to this (assuming no one else is in the bathroom is to either:

Waddle over the the sink and make a bidet out of it

or

Sacrifice a sock

Every few years my buddy, or myself, will encounter a situation like this. The phrase is so well ingrained in our vernacular that all he has to say is, "Dude, out riding my bike the other day, ended up sacrificing a sock" and i know exactly what transpired. Whether or not knowing such details in any way enhances my life is debatable.

Am I the only one who's kind of shocked to find out that a camera store (with 3 floors nonetheless) in fucking Akihabara, the gadget capital of frigging JAPAN has a bathroom that lacks some sort of ass washing robot wand thing?

I'm all about risk taking - dirt bikes, skateboarding, street racing, hang gliding, snowboarding, drinking, smoking, rock and tree climbing - and while i've often contemplated tattoos, i've never been able to settle on anything that I wouldn't mind being permanent.

this is only validated by the fact that, off all the ideas i've had for tattoos over the years, i'll be damned if i can remember what even one of them was.

i've never been much of one for visual self expression, besides some wild hair stuff i did as a kid, but even then i often resented the attention and the misconceptions it caused others. none of my 7 cars has ever had a bumper sticker, i dont have posters on my walls, and i tend, pretty much, to wear the same clothes i've been wearing since i was about 16. toned down of course - less loud stuff and more plain solid colors.

i just don't decorate, i guess.

@whitcwa

"Nutbastard,142ft/degree,I think"

mmmm i did it graphically in a cad program, 5280*1.52 line, duped the line, rotated 1 degree... lemme try again. whoops, coming up 141'8.822"

i used 1.52*5280 for the first one, shoulda used the 8120 feet in the first place, good catch.

this, of course, only makes the feat that much more impressive.

awesome face 'plant!

@detractors

oh and just to throw a little shadenfreude your way:

"In the weeks after his record shot, he suffered a minor gunshot wound and broke his arms when his vehicle hit a roadside bomb."

@detractors

it's less about the act of killing than it is about tossing some lead a mile and a half and hitting a man-sized target. ONE DEGREE of deviation at that distance is 92 feet. that means *just laterally* that he had a tolerance of ~1/184 of a degree (6 inches) that's a pie sliced into 66,240 pieces.

that's not even to mention windage, elevation, humidity, temperature, and trajectory arc. at this distance, the Coriolis effect comes fully into play, meaning that as the bullet flies, it's following a spiral path around a common center, and the spiral itself can be feet wide. that means you have to be able to predict at what phase in the rotation the bullet will be when it reaches its target.

to do it twice is in-fucking-credible.

@felix

child abductions don't tend to take place at highly populated parks... in the middle of the day...

In a related story, NAMBLA has declared May 22nd "Low hanging fruit day".

In all seriousness, though, this is a wonderful thing.