Eat it. Maybe you'll fly.

Horseshoes for idiots.

Must have been having a midlife crisis or something in 2001.

And then he stuck a bottle of Smirnoff in it.

How is this not called a Winnebugo?

Sweet 360 tail grab, Edith.

NBC's tape-delayed Olympic coverage is getting ridiculous.

Would have been great if they found a syringe that was stuck through the top of another syringe, splitting it in two.

It's the same thing it always is: Paperweight.

They're wine stoppers. Gold for the good stuff, silver for the just ok stuff.

I can fix this. Billy, you can go as a mummy. Johnny, you're a burn victim. Peter, you're a really bad stunt man who's recovering in the ICU. Craig, you're a ninja who's been sent to Alaska. And Timmy, you can be Mumm-Ra from Thundercats. What's that? IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO THE THUNDERCATS ARE, JUST ENJOY THE DAMN HALLOWEEN PARTY.

Waste not, wipe not.

But mom, we only used the first ply.

My last meal would be an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet and I'd never stop eating. BWAHAHA. Seriously though, it'd be an Everlasting Gobstopper.

He forgot Crenshaw Boulevard.