no. 600 - @alexjmann
~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
no. 599 - @Smethanie
Love in 2011 means answering each other's texts immediately. @Smethanie no. 598 - @trevso_electric
Dear car commercials,
You probably don't mean to scare me but "German engineering" is also why I don't have as many cousins today. @trevso_electric no. 597 - @Paxochka
The best thing about being single is sleeping around.
You can sleep all over that lonely bed of yours. Left, right, middle, whatever. @Paxochka no. 596 - @shawngarrett
Christmas spirit is 80% off tomorrow! @ShawnGarrettÂ
no. 595 - @Elephart
~Illustration by:Â Matt Lassen~
no. 594 - @TrolleyCat
You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore. -Â @TrolleyCat no. 593 - @barneda
no. 592 - @yoyoha
~Illustrated by Bronwyn Lundberg~
Facebook = Star Wars, Twitter = Empire Strikes Back, Google+ = Return of the Jedi. MySpace = Stupid prequels. -Â @yoyoha
no. 591 - @CockShittington
I just got caught peeing in the pool. I was so startled, I almost fell in. @CockShittington no. 590 - @EveryTweet_Ever
~Illustration by:Â Pete Hillstrom~
I am sad and need you to ask why.  @EveryTweet_Ever
no. 589 - @TheTobbie
~Illustration by:Â Matt Lassen~
no. 588 - @startyourcarter
~Illustration by:Â Gideon Virgadamo~
I have a box of camouflage condoms. You'll never see me coming. @startyourcarterno. 587 - @1surlygurl
~Illustration by:Â Ingrid Doering~
Even Santa's feeling the pinch, I hear he's down to one Ho. @1surlygurl
no. 586 - @clarkekant
~Illustrated by:Â Greg Smith~
