no. 691 - @PyrBliss
~Original illustration by: Steven Ray Brown~
no. 690 - @PortlandiaGirl
"OH SHIT! THIS CRAZY GUY IS TWIRLING A SIGN! LET'S GO THERE!!" - no one intelligent ever @PortlandiaGirl no. 689 - @rolldiggity
~Illustrated by: @rachelhastings~
I attached tin cans to the ends of this tug-of-war rope because why start a war when we can have a DIALOGUE! @rolldiggityno. 688 - @lunchyprices
My bush is bigger than the shorts thirteen-year-old girls wear these days. @lunchypricesno. 687 - @MrsRupertPupkin
~Original Illustration by: @bluedelliquanti~
When my phone says "searching," I hold it to my heart & whisper "Me too, phone, me too," then burst into tears @MrsRupertPupkinno. 686 - @DamienFahey
When I see a teenager with a backpack, I just assume it's filled with exclamation points for their status updates. @DamienFahey no. 685 - @Smethanie
~Original Illustration by: @JamieSaleToons~
The worst part about having a vagina is I came to the mechanic for an oil change and he convinced me my car needs a flux capacitor. -Â @Smethanieno. 684 - @VocabuLarry
no. 683 - @JohnRossBowie
~Original illustration by: Vixely.com~
I know Congress has its hands tied, but surely Parliament can do something about Paul McCartney's new album title ... -Â @JohnRossBowie (this Twaggie is NOT for sale)no. 682 - @thecrudemale
no. 681 - @crston7
When I was younger they made fun of me because I was different. I laugh at them now, because they are all the same. @crston7no. 680 - @renojenn
No need to be productive today my cough has that covered. -Â @renojenn no. 679 - @capricecrane
The lengths I'm willing to go to avoid somebody I know in a supermarket could count as cardio. -Â @capricecrane no. 678 - @TheSomeGuyShow
"Those spinning rims sure are cool."~ no one @TheSomeGuyShow
no. 677 - @joeljeffrey
Bands who can't afford a smoke machine should hire my girlfriend to cook at their concert @joeljeffrey 
