no. 811 - @MatthewBurnside

http://twitter.com/twaggies/status/214359324162666499

















I'm pretty much talentless. I can't sing, I can't act, I can't dance, I can't do magic tricks. Hell, I can barely cook Ramen noodles. @StevenUndefined
The Backyardigans are singing about happy endings. What kind of message is this sending our children? - @resila
Do butterflies ever get tattoos of 18 year old college girls? @mscharleesheen
Big day for us! We'll now be publishing original Twaggies over on Mashable.com. Check out the first one, still wet behind the ears today.
How to screw up a perfectly good recipe:1) Follow recipe 2) Invite my mom to come over with her special bag of deflavorizer 3) Voila! - @resila 
I hate when you finally meet your Twitter crush and you find out that it was just some dumb cat walking around on a keyboard at a Starbucks.
"This is SO annoying." - gay passenger on Titanic -Â @GaryJanetti