Caption Contest

It's a dowel pointer, used for tapering the ends of wooden dowels for making joints.

I heart robots, XXXL.

It's a Reverence Shaver
1. Insert arm
2. Have a friend grasp the handles and turn
3. Hang your head while your (now former) friend teases you for agreeing to something so ridiculous.

"Spite" Medium

It's an elephant circumcision device!

"Curie-osity", L

King kong's pencil sharpener. Can be seen in the take out scenes of th " ultimate director's collector cut super limited Dolby 7.3 4XHD DEEPBLUERAY platinum-mammoth-ivory case box...


Never grow up 2xl ladies fit black.

This is an ancient jar opener, the opening is tapered so you press down to get a good grip, then use the handles to twist off the top. No need to bang it against the counter!

"Heisbenderg," L

Optimus Prime's earring, from his early badass years! Unfortunately, some of the diamonds have come off and it has rusted.

The symbol rises, ash grey M

This is the yoke that garden gnomes use to hitch up their guinea pigs when plowing their gardens. This is a single yoke for smaller garden patches; double yokes also exist.

"Meant to Be" Ladies Fit L

For when life gives you square holes that absolutely, positively have to be filled with round pegs.......

immortal lovecraft
large

It's a round plane for making spoke tenons on wagon wheels.

"Shirt Shirt", Large

That's a "Pirate Pete's Leg Pointer". Used exclusively at Pirate Pete's custom shops. Remember mateys..."Come to Pirate Pete's, where the prices can't be beat, and you don't have to have two feets".....Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

immortal lovecraft
large

It's a training wheel for newbie pirates learning to drive their ships.

To continue the pirate thread - it's a pirate peg leg tightener used to securely fasten the prosthesis. When the pirate grunted "arrrgh" it was fastened tight enough.

Make it Sew, Dark Grey, L

A mobile outdoor pocket lathe, much easier t carry than a machine operated woodworking lathe, and it doen't need any power sockets or batteries..

Never grow up. ladies fit 2x...

Safety coconut opener, place coconut in the middle, tell a friend t hold the coconut opener at the grips and usa a mallet to drive the chisel into the nut.. your fingers are safe and no shivers are flying around...

Never grow up 2x ladies black...

Device for resetting the world's largest cuckoo clock (above) when daylight savings time ends.
Seeing a Who, med.

Medieval mammogram device.

Make it Sew, Dark Grey, L

Other pirates always making off with your hard earned booty? Can't always dock in a safe harbor? Jolly Roger Productions has the answer!! Get the new Pirate Club Rudder Wheel Lock! Made exclusively for us by the makers of The Club for autocarriages. It is made of fine Honduran mahogany and equipped with a Cuban steel knock-in locking mechanism. Simply attach to your's ships wheel, and extend the pins to the deck. Free rum with each purchase.

Captain Tight Pants Delivery 4XL

NO! what you say is not true!! It is an old cent sign! it was taken out of store owners stock because it would fall on costumers feet!

O RLY? Ladies fit small

That is Capt. Hooks peg-leg refinisher. Out on the sea, salt water does a number on wooden legs. Splinters abound and this handy device shaves just the right amount of wood off to put pep back in his step.

You know how they say "she's got her head screwed on right"? This is the tool that's used to do it.

Earth-Tree, Navy, XL

It's an early version of a handheld pencil sharpener.... before the Japanese applied their miniaturization technology to it!

(Shirt: Life (by Wirdou), Size: 3XL)

It's the letter G

Obey Gravity L

Someone thought it would be cute to try circumcising a giraffe and this was the tool they produced. Needless to say, giraffes can trample you as well as bulls. Thus ended the tale of Short Willy Wanka's Traveling Snippet Shop & Herbal Remedies (mostly seen by traveling circuses).

Hangin' with my Rummies, Large, Ash grey.