A Funeral for a Very Scary Ham

Science fiction and fantasy author Ellen Klages was once asked to fill time during the Nebula Awards ceremony while technical difficulties were worked out. She told a personal story about her father's Smithfield ham. He received it as a gift some time in the 1990s, and knew that Smithfield hams were supposed to improve with age. They have already been aged in a smokehouse before purchase, but he wanted to age it more, so he hung it in their damp basement. For years. When asked, he always had plans for the ham, but never got around to them. Klages' father died in 2008, with the ham still in the basement, permanently covered with a thick layer of mold. Klages and her sister, who had avoided the scary ham as best as they could, had to dispose of it some way. Her sister wanted a Viking funeral, or maybe they could just leave it somewhere, but they were afraid that would get them in trouble.

They put off disposing of the ham until all the other details of her father's estate were taken care of. By then they had arranged an elaborate funeral that you have to read about, accompanied by pictures of the event. Some people just know how to tell a story. -via Metafilter

(Unrelated image credit: Isle of Wight County Museum)

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