A Heapin' Helpin' of Food Abominations



The above picture is from the Instagram account Cooking for Bae, the title of which is a joke about inexperienced young people trying to make impressive meals for someone they love even though they don't know how to cook. The person who drained their macaroni, like it said on the package, obviously never bothered to watch their mother do it when they were a child. Nor did they ever learn about food safety. Macaroni and cheese isn't that difficult to make, but they have examples of inexperienced cooks jazzing it up with strawberries, avocado, and mint-vanillla milk. Those are three different cooks. Other abominations are clearly from school lunch rooms, restaurants, stoned experiments, or even a grocery store.



More macaroni! This person apparently picked up the wrong paper packet when making mac and cheese, and then decided to go ahead and use the cheese packet for a hot drink. The pasta is most likely a loss, but that drink, if made with real milk, might make up for it. Bored Panda has a ranked list of 30 of the best deranged cooking attempts from the Instagram account. Beware, there are some pictures of food that no one can confidently identify.  


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I had a friend who was staying at our home. As a thank you he wanted to make us a dinner. He decided that a beef heart in applesauce was in order. The kitchen stunk from the smell. At the table I just refused to eat it. My husband, being much more patient and polite than I, took one bite and then put his flatware down. Our friend exclaimed that this was a great dish. He heartily dug in and chewed a big bite of beef heart in applesauce and swallowed. "Man, this is great!" he said. We watched him warily as he ate another bite. "Oh, so good!" he exclaimed. And then one more bite. He swallowed with some difficulty and moaned "Uh... oh... gah!" At that he admitted defeat and ran for the toilet.
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