When the creators of the 911 emergency network gave their phone number out to the entire USA they had no idea how many stupid people they'd have to deal with, or how much dumber callers would become over time.
Me: 911, where do you need assistance?
Drunk guy: At the convenient store. This guy won't sell me beer.
Me: Ok, why not?
Drunk guy: I can't show him my ID because I am not 21.
Me: Without an ID the clerk can not sell to you, especially if you are under age.
Drunk Guy: But other clerks let me bribe them before. I told him that and he still won't take my bribe and sell to me. Make him take the bribe!
Me: We won't force the clerk to accept your bribe. And definitely won't let him sell to a minor. Do you want to wait there and I can have an officer come talk to you in person?
Drunk Guy: Yea, I will sit outside and wait for you.-Via Venethos
These days prank calls, people asking for directions and people freaking out because their internet is down are common so 911 dispatchers don't let them tie up the line. But when they get a call that sounds real they have to let it play out, no matter how ridiculous it sounds.
Me: "911. What is the address of your emergency?"
Caller: "Turtles...in Georgia"
M: "Yes, ma'am. Turtles are an indigenous species to the state of Georgia."
C: "Really?"
M: "Yes, ma'am."
C: "Huh. Well what do you do when there is one in your yard?"
M: "Leave it alone."
C: "It's driving my dogs crazy!"
M: "Is the turtle endangering your dogs?"
C: "No."
M: "Are the dogs endangering the turtle?"
C: "No. They're on the other side of the fence."
M: "Well then just leave the turtle alone and he'll go along on his merry turtle way."
C: "Ok. I guess so."-Via IcebergSlimD
When the question "911 operators, what's the dumbest call you've ever received?" came in to AskReddit the dispatchers were there with answers that illustrate why some people can't have nice things- like a number for emergency situations:
Caller: A deer just swam across the river behind my house.
Me: Okay?
Caller: Well I am worried it might be cold.
Me:.......Well there is nothing we can do about a deer being cold. Didn't it run off after swinning the river?
Caller: Yes.
Me: Well ma'am it's a wild animal and I'd guess it's going to be fine.
Caller: ok-Via NodePoker
Read 911 Operators Share Their Stupidest Calls, And It's Too Embarrassing To Read here