A Squirrel’s Eye View

Steampunk zipper. Patent pending

Trust Me... I'm a Scientist 2XL

Cast iron dipstick w/ handle.

Choose Wisely - 2XL

That's one heavy beyblade.

(Awesome shirt, L)

ObamaCare's proposed GOP mouth-zipper, one size fits all

(HedgeHogs L)
((thanks))

Groin Sizer! (you know like that thing you put your feet into at the show store)

Powered by caffeine XL

Lifesize Evil Knievel Motorcyle Launcher.

Science XL

Its a 'Candle Winder'. At least that's what it was sold as, discreetly from underneath counter at the local dry goods and feed store. Those crazy victorians and their pre electric battery sex toys.

Don't Blink -Med Grey t shirt (Daughter just discovered Dr. Who)

Rachet screwdriver

Don't Blink - xxl

It's a Shonco "Don't Crimp My Style" Hair Crimper used by Victorian debutantes and courtesans.
Make It Sew, L, Dark Grey

I'm going with some sort of come-a-long

A 19th century self-propelled toy car (wheel only) - pull the clunky zip strip and enjoy watching the wheel wobble down the road. It became the precursor to Kenner's 1972 SSP racers propelled with a plastic zip strip. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X7hdyTPeIY

When Worlds Collide, black, ladies XL

Medievil Beyblade :D

An Industrial Revolution smart watch.

Make it Sew, Dark Grey, Ladies fit M

Remember the tabletop game from our youth, Battling Tops ™? Well, it turns out that the original wasn’t a game. The original was a Ninja weapon called a “Topei Shinjuru” (戦争ヨーヨー)(literally “War YoYo”). This is a seventeenth century (Norris Dynasty) Samurai Shinjuru launcher.

Big Minion Theory, Ladies Cut Large

In the spirit of the season:
It's Hellraiser's orthodontic brace tightening tool. Made ya' wince.

The One Who Knocks XL

a "Boot" for disabling illegally parked Segways

Not Easy Being Green (in Military Green) 2X

Steampunk Spirograph (maybe missing a part or two)

Doctorama (in Navy) 2X

A tool for banding things to a pallet... or, a BDSM sex toy, whatever.

"Never Grow Up", XXXL, Black

It's a gyroscope starter for a 19th Century Segway.

The Inconceivables---xl

It's a pre-lawsuit version of the whee-lo toy - you know, the one with the spinning disk and wire frame.

Browncoats, Ladies Medium

It's the original prototype Sonic Screwdriver; it was called the Sonic SCREWDRIVER because of the flathead at the end of this; those prongs are from an attempt to turn the screwdriver into a batarang-like grappling hook. The wire was the source of power for the screwdriver; the Doctors do need exercise occasionally.

And all of you copycats who are reading that will use this response, back off! This answer's mine!

LIFE T-Shirt, Black L

A prototype Newton Meter - you know, the weight meters that you put an object on, and it drags it down a certain number of Newtons?
First, you take off the (removable) side sticking out, and put the thing you're measuring on a rope/string that is hooked in, replacing the part you took off to clamp it in place. Then, you drag the wheel like part to the zipper-end, and grab the zipper, and lift it up, so that gravity pulls down the wheel a certain number of grooves. That's the weight.

Pandemic T-Shirt, Black L

A spinning gyroscope car for Tinkerbell.

Become A Scientist T-Shirt, Black L

"Medieval Belly Button Cleaner"

--Science vs. Magic / XL / Ash Grey

an 1873 Zip tie. bit of a bugger to get the end back through the eye but dammit men were men in those days

Never grow up large

it is a drill that fits in tight spaces.

Embarrassing key for public outhouses...

"Where the Old Gods Are"
Large

Well, the medieval knights had to have some way of getting those dang codpieces off!
Come to the dark side-we have cookies, mens 2xl black