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Why Did The Chinese Government Launch Crude Oil Into Space?

China is now a fossil fuel guzzling machine we helped create, a golem powered by petroleum who is busy searching for fossil fuels to keep their engines running while we're trying to set the petrol aside.

And now China's National Space Science Centre and the European Space Agency have joined on a quest to see what happens to crude oil on a molecular level when it's exposed to the extreme conditions of outer space.

The Sorriet Coefficient in Crude Oil study involves launching titanium cylinders full of crude oil under 500 times standard atmospheric pressure into orbit to see how it reacts to intense pressure and uneven temperatures.

This study is meant to help scientists understand how crude oil behaves underneath the Earth's crust, so they can figure out more efficient ways to harvest the massive quantity of heavy crude underground.

-Via Gizmodo

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That's ridiculous! They already have extreme pressure in the cylinders (and spheres would have been a better choice of container geometry). Extremes of temperature can easily be achieved on the ground using large mirrors to concentrate sunlight on the containers. This is clearly a ruse.

I think China intends to expose crude oil to unshielded cosmic rays, conferring super powers to it. With their new Mutant Super-Oil, a teaspoon of refined gasoline will drive a car for a hundred miles!
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