Unsolicited Advice to Freelance Writers

Are you a freelance writer? Then may I offer my condolences to you. It is a sad, difficult time in your life. But you may be able to pull through. This is simply your cross to bear, so carry it with as much dignity as you can.

Dennis Ferrell is also a freelance writer. In a very self-demonstrative article at Something Awful, he offers his advice for how you can pitch an idea, write good copy, and maybe even get paid occasionally. He begins with this sage counsel:

Begin every article with the word "begin". This is quite the power move. It establishes that the article has begun, leaving no room for doubt. It's also a subtle way of telegraphing where a reader is in relation to the rest of the article.

Try not to use any letters that you made up. Unless you get really lucky, they won't be on your keyboard.

Content warning: foul language.

-via American Digest


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