A Human Doorknocker Each Day Keeps Solicitors Away

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This advertisement from New Zealand features something I'd pay serious money for: a sentient and stern doorknocker capable of doing away with any unwanted visitors. UPS or Fedex guy? No problem — the knocker can even sign for it with a pen in his mouth, if necessary. Selling something? Remove Yourself From My Verandahhhh! Via Laughing Squid

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Same here. I realized that nobody I know ever knocks on my door and it's never anyone I want to talk to. So I told my neighbors that if they need anything, to just call my cellphone and I'll meet them at the door.
Haven't answered a knock in 4 years. My old house has never had a doorbell installed.
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I stopped answering door knocks a few years ago. Disconnected the doorbell as well. No one I want to see will come to my door without calling first.

Whose with me?
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