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For Sale on Craigslist: Cursed Sword

Would you like to own a sword? Of course you do! Everyone wants—shoot, everyone needs—at least one sword. This lady in the Austin, Texas area owns over 100 of them. She wants to part with this beauty because it’s haunted:

This sword is from the 1700s. I got it at an antique store in my memaw's home town back in 1984. The person who sold it to me told me to be careful because there is a 90+% chance that it is cursed. Since it's been in my house my life has descended into pure chaos. My knitting group came over and they all said they could feel a strange energy in my sword room (I have a collection of over 100 swords. This is my only haunted sword). Since i got this sword, about 3 times a week a crucifix will fall off of my wall for no reason. I am 76 years old. I cannot have this cursed item in my house anymore. Please take it off my hands!!

It’s not that bad, but she’s tired of having to perform Constitution saving rolls every 10 rounds.

-via The Mary Sue


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Fantastic selling point. I like the bit where the knitting group feels a strange energy in a room full of swords, as opposed to being totally comfortable in a room dedicated to things designed to kill people.
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