Misconceptions About Pets

It looks like a device for cracking the shell of a breakfast egg..
the spikes perforate the shell to enable a straight cut,,

never grw up, ladies fit, black 2xl

it could be a set of bobble pliers, used in the bobble heas Industry,
for handling and combing the bobbles....

nrver grow up, black, ladies fit, xxl...

A dust bunny handler, for catching and removing dust bunnies, ...
The first tool for fighting dust mite allergy, the dustyparasites of the common fluffy house dust bunny....

never grow up 2x, ladies fit, black

Finally the perfect, little hostess gift, for handing your mistress,
with the words "I have been naugthy, i did`t bring you flowers, ..."

a dark black t-shirt, mistress fi, xxl, "never grow up"
,

It is a "tool" used by Fathers to insure their daughters are safe when a young man came to call. The Father would sit in the living room detroying zucchini with the tool while discussing the "date plans" the young man had for his daughter. While technically illegal, most fathers will support other fathers in the community with an alibi, should the need arise.

It could be an "egg topper" for soft boiled ostrich eggs... but my money is that it's for making perfect english muffin perforations.

Obstetric sarlacc forceps. Trust me, you do NOT want to do a c-section on a sarlacc.

Splatted Nightmare, M

Dragon descaler. Mmmm...tastes like chicken!
Make it Sew, L, Dark Grey

Flea comb for Wookiees & Wampas. Just insert limb and drag down to get rid of those pesky critters. That is what Han & Chewie did during their down time for relaxation.
Make it Sew, L, Dark Grey

"The Derection Device. Simply apply before erections."

You use it to put the holes in swiss cheese,
Soft Furry Troubles II, XL, Black

The manhandler. 'Nuff said.

Chemist's Glassware XXL, White

This is a fine example of an early American grape peeler. In our country's infancy, only the well-to-do could afford someone to peel their grapes for them. This handy tool brought grape peeling to the masses.
Random shirt, Large.

Obamacare.

Its the husband trainer!

The walking mini dead Size L

The device is used to perforate chestnuts before roasting them.

Brushed Skull tshirt, small, white

It's the equivalent of a can opener for vampires. You put the spikes around the neck and squeeze. Voila!

For the Sake of an Angel, ladies fit M

It look like one of those things to stop masturbation.

Amish Beard Comb.

(Giraffe Hammock - Medium)

Looks like what is known as the Giant's Jar Opener. Jack brought one down the beanstalk with him ages ago. Mrs. Giant often had trouble opening the giant jars of fruit and vegetables that her husband would bring home so she created this little machine. Works every time.

Winter is Coming, black, 2XL

I would like to make the pointed observation that this unique item is Pinhead's neck massager.

[ Science vs. Magic / Ash Grey / XL ]

It's a caber-tosser, for the ladies. Like a ladies golf tee, a bit closer to the green, this little tool grabs the cabers, to give the ladies a bit better chance in the 'toss.

Beakerful of Science

It's a medieval orange-juicer. It did the same job as modern juicers, but the modern juicers looked too wimpy next to the iron maiden, so they used this bad boy.

Beakerful of Science.

It's like a hot pad for wooden pails of boiling water. Handy during Halloween times, these worked wonders picking up the wooden precursors of the iron cauldron.

Beakerful of Science

Jim Henson's first attempt at a minimalist Kermit, while a compelling smile it put the kids off and it was decided to add the felt and the ping pong ball eyes.

Look Out Schrodinger's Cat, It's a Trap! Black Large

Rutabaga Juicer. Simply grasp the rutabaga, squeeze and shake, fresh delicous rutabaga juice, just like grandma made before she went to the home, after they found those bodies. The ones with no heads.

T shirt, Grey Med 'Don't Blink'

I have no idea what that is - but ouch, that's gotta hurt!

Tonari, Ladies Fit S, please (:

Oh come on, folks. Seriously, no one here has ever groomed a tribble?

et tailwhip,xl,black

It is indeed a: 'Dr. Frommer-Richtenstein-Smith's "Fiendishly Clever Nutcracker"'.......(okay, minds out of the gutters, now.....We all know what rhymes with Frommer!!!!).
1. Place a walnut, pecan, beezenberry nut, a.k.a. 'nut of choice', on a plate.......
2. Adopt a menacing look while approaching nut with this, (and maybe doing a little 'snick-snick')...
3. Voila ! The nut will completely jump out of its shell !
As The Institute likes to say: "Needs no crackin' ; sends the nut's clothes packin' ! "

Where the old gods are
large

This is actually a religious icon on Dune, similar to, say, a crucifix, but signifying a sandworm. Can't think of anything funny to say about though, other than the fact that it probably works on vampires as well as a crucifix, but only because they see a certain usefulness in it (see ArcadianGrace's entry).

et tailwhip,xl,black

Or maybe it's a mega marshmallow roaster.

et tailwhip,xl,black

Or a radial keratotomy tool for colossal squids.

et tailwhip,xl,black

Or a radial lobotomy tool for colossal psychotics.

et tailwhip,xl,black