Some retail store mannequins drive away business, filling shoppers with a sense of dread and causing them to steer clear of that shop.
It’s in a retailer's best interest to make sure their mannequins aren’t giving shoppers nightmares, unless you’re trying to sell your customers clothes and years of therapy!
Here’s an introduction to eleven types of mannequins that will put a fright into you, and make you think twice about hitting the mall.
1. Frankenstein's Mannequin-
What is a retailer to do when they have a head from one mannequin and a body from another? Grab some packing tape and attach that head any way you can!:
But I guess a patchwork mannequin is better than this monstrosity:
2. The Terminally Happy-
If you’ve ever seen the species of mannequin that sports a maniacal grin then you already know how terrifying they can be:
Catch a glimpse of these way too happy mannequins hanging around in a storage space after dark and you’ve got the makings of a mannequin nightmare:
If you’ve ever wondered what could be more horrifying than a dental mannequin waiting to get some work done behold the horror of a dental mannequin "family" playing around in a winter wonderland:
With the advancements in robotic technology these dental dummies might soon be shopping at a mall near you!
4. The Hopeless Hipster-
This selection’s not so much horrifying as it is horrifyingly tacky, and sure to stir up bad memories of horrible fashion trends of yesteryear:
5. The Cheeky Cur-
When you’re trying on clothes and hoping they fit in a flattering way the last thing you want is some lascivious mannequin leering at you with his tongue out:
It's like trying on clothes at a construction site!:
6. The Presidential Clone-
And if you're worried about that perv leering at you, just imagine how unnerving it could be trying to squeeze into a pair of skinny jeans with the leader of the free world watching you!
7. The Furry's Best Friend-
Chances are you’re shopping at a human store that sells human clothes, so why is this retailer using a terrifying kitty mannequin to sell clothes?
8. The Creepy Dudes-
Did this retailer actually think making lifelike paunchy middle aged mannequins would help them sell more clothes?
Are they trying to make you feel good about how you look in your new clothes, or bad about all the men you've dated?
And speaking of creepy dudes, who could possibly have a good reason for owning a rolling David Hasselhof dummy? Why, the Hof himself, of course!
9. The 90s Cartoon Creep-
Making mannequins that appeal to kids means tapping in to one of their favorite mediums for ideas- cartoons.
These disturbingly toony display figures look like they were based on characters from 90s cartoons like Doug or Daria, but did they have to translate the cartoon character's look so literally?
10. The Nightmarish Pointy Heads-
These mannequins may have been manufactured in Silent Hill, where seeing people with nothing but a point for a head is normal. Here in the real world these monstrosities do nothing but confuse shoppers and terrify children:
11. The Bathroom Cheering Section-
Last but not least is an assortment of mannequins who hang around looking pretty, and trying to look away, while you do your business at the urinal.
Would you want these fiberglass gals watching you while you do your business?
BONUS- Here's an oldie but goodie that takes the creepiness of mannequin-kind to a whole new level of weird.
It's a strange little video by David Lewandowski called Late For Meeting, featuring a floppy mannequin who is (surprise surprise!) late for a meeting...
If you weren't scared of mannequins you probably are now!