McDonalds New Happy Meal Mascot

Agh! I honestly did not mean to frighten you with the image, but this is the new advertising mascot for McDonalds Happy Meals. It's shaped like a box, which Happy Meals once came in, but every one I’ve gotten in the last few years is just in a bag. Yes, I admit I occasionally get a Happy Meal, with coffee, please. When they ask if it’s for a boy or girl, I try to stop and think which grandchild got the last toy.

But it’s not the box that’s terrifying. It’s those creepy eyes and that big mouth that looks like it’s going to eat you instead of the other way around. McDonalds calls him Happy, and says he is a "Happy Meal Ambassador." That’s a euphemism for mascot. -via Uproxx

(Image credit: McDonalds)

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Perfect Mascot

This is a perfect mascot for McDonald's Happy Meals. A huge mouth for shoveling in the food-like chow, with rounded teeth unable to bite and chew any fresh fruits or vegetables. The mouth is open at all times for breathing because there is no nose, ready for the asthma ahead. A body shaped like a cubed box, the image of the body to come. A demanding stance and eyes bulging with gluttonous addiction to the fat-sugar-salt fare, yet eyes crossed and half-hidden, unable and unwilling to recognize the obesity and sickness to come.
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