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Phantom Internet

I read this comic and laughed, thinking how I know so many people like this. And then I realized, even if I don’t form my opinions around what my friends think of this issue or that issue, I still won’t buy any goods or services without searching for customer reviews. Before I decide if something is “good enough” to post on Neatorama, I check comments to see if it’s old, lame, or fake -even if I liked it myself. So none of us are immune to letting the internet think for us in one way or another. Comic by Abstruse Goose.


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It's definitely something you heat and then use to mark, old artifact use in the kitchen to torch creme brulee before the portable torch was invented!
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Antique witch finder. You hold it up to your eye, and you'll be able to spot the witch in the crowd.

Quite ingenious actually. Once the lens had fallen out (as with this example) it could still be used as a witch finder. You simply apply the finder firmly to the posterior (i.e. "smack them in the bum with the metal bit") until they say "I'm a Witch! I'm a Witch!"
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A passing token used upon single-line bidirectional-travel railway tracks. The hoop is picked up by the driver from a signal box (easy to collect on an arm) and handed over at another signal box at the end of the single-track section. This is probably from England's days of steam-driven locomotives.
EG.
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Used as a rug beater for years this artifact was adiscovered to have been stolen from the tomb of Kutchetechtun. The pharoah Tuts personal animal handler. Pictographs of found in the tomb disply that this was a tool used in the circumcism of Elephants.
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It's a Toddler Tug. Pass the loop through your child's arm and cinch it up at his armpit. No more leaning down to yank young Caleb by the elbow. Just grab his handle. Those Puritans sure knew how to raise kids.
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It is a bedding or a sheet warmer. It was kept in a container that would be placed in the fireplace. When it was warm it would be passed over the sheets and under the blankets to warm the sheets on cold nights.
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This is a safety magnifying glass. No glass, just dip in soapy water to trap a bubble lens across the aperture. Inspect your stamps or light your fire, shake off and put it away in your pocket.
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Used in ice cream shops, an instrument such as the one pictured is used to set a cone in whilst the server prepares the ice cream, grabs toppings, ect. Quite useful for those pointy-ended waffle cones, actually.
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I'm taking another guess. Could this be a tennis ball sizer? If the ball fits through the hole it's no good for Wimbledon. The wooden handle could also be used to prod to check firmness.
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