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Support the Patriarchy

I've noticed that some people online get really upset about the patriarchy. I'm not sure why.

Question: in a three-way fight between the three Patricks, who would win?

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Comments (4)

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Newest 4 Comments

I feel like Star would probably win, due to his ability to take more punishment. How many anchors did Picard have dropped on his head?

As for the patriarchy, I don't really get mad about it. The problem I have with the concept, though, is that it's framed as something that men did in order to benefit all men at the expense of all women, which isn't really true. That's not to say it wasn't a crappy system, and it sure as hell doesn't work in the modern day, but blaming men for it is ignoring the fact that it sucked just as much for men, by and large.
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Swayze's out because of pancreatic cancer. But both Stewart and Star have significant home-court advantages. It would depend on the venue. If the fight is in Bikini Bottom, Star would win. If the fight were at Carnegie Hall, Stewart would win.
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This appears to be a gentleman's lice removal tool. Properly positioned by placing his organ in the lower chamber with handle pointing away from body, hot coal was placed on the upper pan. A slight tilting of the handle up and toward the body sent the hot coal off the pan, over the spikes, setting the pubic hair aflame. When the lice ran into the clearing, they were quickly dispatched by repeated stabbing from the three prongs.

Forest Hitchhikers forest green medium
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This is the original prototype Spork. During testing it was found that users would often impale their upper lip on fork portion , and that the spoon portion failed to hold any liquid. The first Spork patent, based on this prototype, was issued to Samuel W. Francis under US Patent 147,119 in February 1874.

The lesser of Two Weevils, XL Black.
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We use that every thanksgiving when carving the bird. It's a combination turkey peeler-serving fork. For use with the combination carving knife-nail clipper.

Inappropriate xl
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Ultimate s'mores tool, you place the first graham cracker & a liberal serve of chocolate in the lower tray; roast not one, not two, but three marshmallows on the prongs; whilst the marshmallows cook the chocolate melts; finally slide the final cracker off the top tray and enjoy perfection.

P and A (Medium)
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It's a rodent/mole removing tool. The flat end stops the mole from moving along in their burrow, and then the picks come down and pin/stab the mole. Krampus Greetings 2XL
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The traditional tool for preparing "Absinthe corn on the cob".
Slide your corn into the bottom tray, sugar cube (or these days, maybe a cube of slpenda) on top of the prongs, slowly pour your Absinthe.......and bingo ! A tasy treat made by green faeries !!!
* Note that this also works well with candy bars and hot-dogs, too!

Lovecraft's canned octopus
large
black
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It is obviously a sspecial device that serves for picking up cigarette stubs with the spikes, the "shovel" serves for picking up half full packs of cigaretttes and the flat part may serce as portalbe ashtray for the cigaretts recycled from colletected cigarette stubs...
Only rarely used by fashionate hobos in the early 1920th...

http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Never-Grow-Up
2X ladies fit suggested colour
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It's a cheese plate server. The bottom is used for shaving slices from large blocks of cheese. The prongs are used to fend off all the mice that show up.

Inappropriate XL
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