Gorilla Attacked By Random Banana

(Video link)

Random acts of violence are not funny. They aren't.  And the attack of a gorilla mascot in a Wireless Center in Strongsville, OH, last week is not funny. According to Fox8:
[T]he store has the gorilla as a marketing tool a couple of days a week. Brandon Parham, the store manager, told the TV station that he had seen the kid inside the store prior to the attack.

"Then he just emerged, dressed up as a banana, and sprinted as fast as he could at our gorilla," Parham said. "The kid just speared our gorilla."

Meantime, the store manager feels his guy got a bad deal: "The gorilla should have won," Parham said.


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@Ryan S, also the "una-PEEL-ing act"

and how old is that costume? it was so ratty and could they not even put a black glove on the kid's other hand? and what do gorillas have to do with phones?
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Smells like someone hatched a "clever" scheme to get some media coverage of their sale on half-priced car chargers.

I mean, it IS a pretty sweet deal.
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100% not funny. Boring, lonnngg story told in an uninteresting way. And I NEVER want to see an embedded video that doesn't have fast-forward or scrub controls. Fail.
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"The banana then SPLIT" OH GOD!

My brother is into writing and he studies metaphor, rhetoric and different writing styles. I asked him about this the other day, because I like choosing words that metaphorically relate to each other. I'd be apt to choose the term "split" instead of left, vacated, jet, disappeared, or what-not, but it bothers me to know end the way newscasters emphasize the word like they were extremely clever about it. It puts an unnatural emphasis on a rather circumstantial verb, and I think it would sound smoother, cooler, and cleverer if they didn't emphasize it. My brother didn't have much to say about it TBH, which surprised me, maybe that's why they fancy themselves so clever, is it not a recognizable artform?
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