Guidelines for Cats

Cats have rules for their lives, they just don't want to tell you about them. James S. Huggins has compiled a list of these guidelines. For example:
The humans would have you believe that those lumps under the covers are their feet and hands. They are lying. They are actually Bed Mice, rumored to be the most delicious of all the mice in the world, though no cat has ever been able to catch one. Rumor also has it that only the most ferocious attack can stun them long enough for you to dive under the covers to get them. Maybe YOU can be the first to taste the Bed Mouse! -via the Presurfer

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How about the sacred religion of the laser dot, and the vow to capture it at all costs? It is according to legend, that the one who captures the "red fire" will be the one to be worshipped by cat and man alike, for all eternity.
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What about the shape-shifting Bed Mouse, singing the national anthem every morning. They must be extra delicious as humans, specially the females, hunt it down, play with it and devour it on a regular basis. I hate it when they throw us of the bed and make us watch them lick their lips and purr.
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