Don't Try This At Home

I am a master of cat petting and massage. It comes from years of practice, a high level of empathy, and always having mellow cats around.

Most people don't know how to properly pet a cat. No finesse, no dynamic feedback loop. I suspect these people are probably not great in bed, either. There's nothing sexual about petting a cat, but the parallel between being able to interpret responses to physical stimulation and adjust accordingly is there.

You have to imagine that you are the cat, and remember that what feels nice to a human is pretty much what feels nice to cats, the spine, neck, and shoulders being the obvious areas. Also, remember that less is more! A slow, light touch is almost always better than an aggressive one.

Ok, that's all, and yes i realize I sound like some sort of cat molesting pervert.

I guess you might say i'm a petophile.

Seriously, the spine near the tail is where a cat needs to be scratched. They can't reach that spot easily, and they really appreciate a scratch there.

So I shouldn't use a half brick in a strong up and down pounding motion?

as long as you're delicate enough, a finger IN the ear will enamour any cat to you. That's if you wish to be treated to the final frame EVERY night.

It also depends on the cat. Some cats like belly rubs, some don't. Some cats only tolerate soft and slow pets, and some seem to enjoy rougher or faster petting. Which seems weird, but you can see examples of all of those on youtube.

Cats are weird.