Poli-Talks: Peculiar Quotes By Politicians

The following is from Uncle John's All-Purpose Extra Strength Bathroom Reader. Sick and tired of political campaigns this election year? Let's take a step back with something you can appreciate from the politicians: strange and peculiar quotes. They're not to be "misunderstimated"!
"I think that the free-enterprise system is absolutely too important to be left to the voluntary action of the marketplace." - Rep. Richard Kelly (R-Fla.)
"If a frog had wings, he wouldn't hit his tail on the ground." - George Bush, on unemployment benefits
"I make my decisions horizontally, not vertically." - Sen. Bob Kerry (D-Neb.)
"I hope that history will present me with maybe two words. One is peace. The other is human rights." - Jimmy Carter
"The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe." - Frank Rizzo, mayor of Philadelphia
"If we don't watch our respective tails, the people are going to be running the government." - State Sen. Bill Craven (R-Ca.), on state initiatives
"Democracy used to be a good thing, but now it has gotten into the wrong hands." - Sen. Jesse Helms
"I don't see why the legislature should be in the business of artificial intelligence, real intelligence or any intelligence at all." - Rep. Hunt Downer (D-La.)
"A zebra cannot change its spots." - Al Gore
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" - George W. Bush
"We, as Republicans, need to start rowing with one oar." - Rep. John Kasich (R-Ohio)
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." - David Dinkins, former New York mayor
"I don't have the brains for business. I want to go into politics." - Mao Xinyou, grandson of Mao Zedong
"I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?" - Jim Scheibel, mayor of St. Paul, Minn.
"If BS was a dollar a pound, we would have paid off the deficit at about noon." - Rep. Jim Ross Lightfoot (R-Iowa)
"Congressmen are so damn dumb they could throw themselves on the ground and miss." - Rep. James Traficant, Jr. (D-Ohio)
"I think that's self-evident, but not true." - Bill Clinton
"It's hard for somebody to hit you when you've got your fist in their face." - James Carville, on negative campaigning
"What's the difference between a politician and a catfish? One is a wide-mouthed, bottom-feeding, slime sucker - and the other is a fish." - Preston Manning, Reform Party leader
"I'm a politician, and as a politician I have the prerogative to lie whenever I want." - Charles Peacock, ex-director of the Madison Guaranty S&L
"Look, I'm trying to run for president! I can't sit here and debate free trade versus fair trade!" - Pat Robertson
"The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather." - Marion Barry, former mayor of Wash., D.C.
"The senator has got to understand - he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road." - George W. Bush, referring to John McCain
"I'm glad I'm not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin, you never know if someone's tape-recording what you say." - Richard Nixon
The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's All-Purpose Extra Strength Bathroom Reader. The 13th book in the series by the Bathroom Reader's Institute has 504-all new pages crammed with fun facts, including articles on the biggest movie bombs ever, the origin and unintended use of I.Q. test, and more. Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!

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I like the quotes, but the most peculiar thing is the list itself. Some are clever jokes, some are silly mistakes, some are comically ironic (presumably unintentionaly), and some seem like they would makes sense in context. The one about the streets of Philadelphia could be someone saying something unintentonally funny, or it could be a sarcastic reply. Many quotes sound absurd when taken out of context.
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