Neatorama reader Gary wrote:
Not only can you download Elmer's debut CD of holiday organ tunes of questionable quality - "Christmas Dinner for Two," but you have to read his musical bio. Quite funny.
An excerpt: "Lucky for me, one winter Less drove his Ski-doo through the ice, up on Kelly Lake, he didn't die or nothing, but his fingers got pretty frostbit, and whenever he played people said it sounded like a gorilla wearing work gloves."
I like this one better:
About my forth day of showing off, I keep seeing the same young gal showing up to hear me play. She was a cute in her black and white saddles, and Saint Mathew's school uniform, and right away I knew I had to know her better. One day while the boss was away I asked her if she wanted to sit down and try it for herself.
Now, one thing I have to make clear is this was against the first rule of floor demonstrations. And they were very strict about it too; never let the customer touch your organ. If they touch it, the boss always said, they'd find out how hard it actually was, and then they wouldn't want one for themselves. Even though I caught holy heck from the manager, it was a good thing I talked to her and found out her name that day, because she turned out to be my wife, Mrs. Evelyn VanLannen.
http://www.elmervanlannen.com/ - Thanks Gary!