"Yakety Sax" is a song that is appropriate for all occasions. I hope that it is played at my funeral.

Reluctantly crouched at the starting line

Engines pumping and thumping in time

The green light flashes, the flags go up

Churning and burning, they yearn for the cup

They deftly maneuver and muscle for rank

Fuel burning fast on an empty tank

Reckless and wild, they pour through the turns

Their prowess is potent and secretly stern

(S)he's going the distance

(S)he's going for speed

She's all alone (all alone)

All alone in her time of need

No contest on the biggest idiot. That would be the copper who drove right into the planter, chased the car around on foot, and then tried to shoot its tires out.

That is too crazy - must be seen to be believed! The cops didn't do their profession much credit, but what was the suspect thinking anyway? Many a cop will tell you that the overwhelming majority of criminals and scofflaws are, to put it politely, a few cats shy of an alley.