“I ran over to check and he was passing toys out and eating some of the lollies,” she said.

But with electrical wires and little oxygen inside Noah was soon sweating as management and his mum worked to free him.

And the escape proved rather more tricky than getting in for Noah.

The toddler had to be coaxed to climb back down the chute and sit there while his mum pulled him around a guard panel blocking his escape.

“We had to tell him that he had to come out to get a toy,” she said.

Noah managed to get out of the machine before the fire brigade arrived to rescue him. Link -via Arbroath

Lydia’s three-year-old daughter names her toys by herself. Some of the names are rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. But they make for a funny video, if you aren’t offended by adult terms in text. See it at NeatoBambino. Link

Sometimes you just want to cuddle with Skeletor, Slimer or Admiral Akbar, of course, the problem is that the companies who officially license the merchandise for these characters don’t really believe there’s enough of a market for plush versions. That’s why those seeking such frivolities will need to head over over to the HandmadeStuffs shop over at Etsy. Have fun.

Link

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This guy may look like he owns a windowless van, and hangs out near elementary schools, but he actually has other plans for children- he wants to sell them overpriced robotic toys.

Called Cubelets, they are a set of modular robotic cubes which can be combined into simple robots, and cost a whopping $25 apiece.

All kidding aside, this is a great idea for a product but seems extremely overpriced, and they should definitely consider hiring a spokesman who doesn’t look quite so creepy. Besides, who really needs these when there are so many cool motorized LEGO sets available?

–via Geekologie

The Wizard of Oz Potatoheads | $59.95

Mr. Potatohead comes in a Wizard of Oz flavor! This Mr. Potatohead Wizard of Oz set comes with four 5″ tall Mr. Potatohead figures dressed as Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion. And they’re available now from the NeatoShop! If you’re a real Wizard of Oz fan, you’ll want to check out the other Wizard of Oz products, and Mr. Potatohead fans will want to see other Mr. Potatohead figures. We’ve got what you want at the NeatoShop!

Link

Urban explorers and photographers have a tendency to keep exact locations a secret, but somewhere in Spain lies a porcelain doll factory that was abandoned decades ago. The business was dropped in a hurry, it seems, as many half-made dolls and doll-making equipment was left behind to decay. See a collection of photographs from inside, and read about the history of the porcelain doll business at Environmental Graffiti. Link

(Image source: Abandonalia)

(YouTube Link)

This young champion of justice is named Riley, and she’s sick and tired of all the toy marketing gimmicks that keep girls from buying the superhero toys that they really like.

Watch as she explains what all the pink at the toy stores really means, and I’m sure you’ll agree that she is totally right. Let girls enjoy their superhero toys already, or Riley’s going to grow up and take you all down!

–via ComicsAlliance

Who would have thought that the deranged version of the Joker from the Dark Knight films would make a great getup for a little boy doll? Apparently someone from WorldBox, an Asian toy manufacturer who also thought it would be endearing to label the ads “Take Happiness Home”. More like “Your Kid Will Never Sleep Again”, or “Joker, Now With Diapers!”  *shivers*

Link –via SuperPunch

The blog Hey! Look at My Toys! is hosting a contest for Christmas nativity scenes made from toys and action figures. The nine finalists are presented for voting. At first, I wanted to use a picture of the scene featuring a unicorn, then the one with Pee Wee Herman as Joseph, but then I saw this one by Nathan N. See them all at the site. Link -via Unreality magazine

Cracked has put together a great article on these terrible action figures from iconic lines, like the one featured above-April O’Neil’s Boss from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles line.

These are the kind of toys that had kids yelling “Awwww man! Not this one!” at their birthday party, and they were always given (in my experience, anyway) by a relative who thought they were being cool by giving you a toy from one of the hottest lines. Thanks anyways Grandma! *forced smile*

Link

(Image via mattonfire)

Continuing our series of what kids wanted back in the day, we explore the 1980s-a time of excess, badass toys and fashion regrets. While kids in previous decades may have had simpler tastes, by the 80s it was all about the latest toys based on cartoons and TV shows, electronics and video game systems, sometimes all rolled into one.

I couldn’t find one site with a comprehensive list of what we all wanted for Christmas in the 80s, so I chose 3 different sites that detail most of the amazing toys from that decade:

14 Photos of Kids Opening Presents in the 80s –this one’s cute because you get to see their reaction as they get the toy/present of their dreams.

Looking Back on the Hottest 80s Toys –a list, accompanied with pictures, that briefly describes each toy. This one’s mostly aimed at girls.

Top 20 Totally Awesome Toys from the 80s –this one’s fun because it features TV commercials for most of the toys on the list.

Enjoy this look back at the fabulous toys of the 1980s, and if you still have some of these treasures in a box somewhere, they may be more valuable than you think!

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Hasbro has created these awesome stop motion shorts to advertise their new line of Kre-O Transformers Sets, their version of LEGOs that come in sweet box sets featuring your favorite Autobots and Decepticons. I guess Megatron was on Santa’s naughty list this year!

–via ComicsAlliance

Ant farms are cool in and of themselves, but that doesn’t mean their designs can’t be improved on to look even more fascinating. WebEcoist has a great collection of some of the coolest ant farms around. From flags of different nations to the Clone Trooper farm, these toys make me want to go buy my own ant farm.

Link

Remember when we all thought Beanie Babies would be worth a fortune someday, or when Pogs ruled the schoolyard? Then check out this gallery of Christmas list toppers from the 90s, some of which are still around while others have fallen by the wayside, and see if you still have some of these treasures lying around in a box somewhere. Ebay here we come!

Link

WebUrbanist has some great animal houses on one of their recent articles, but I have to say my favorite is definitely the fish tank adaptation that allows the fish to swim across the room from one tank to another. Do any of you have similarly cool adaptations at your home?

Link

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If you ever wanted finer control over your Etch-A-Sketch lines, then you may want to consider splicing in a NES controller! Here’s the process as described by Alpinedelta32, the creator of this brilliant mod:

I connected the etch-a-sketch knobs to stepper motors, which are then controlled by an Arduino microcontroller. The Arduino program I wrote takes signals from the NES controller and sends them as stepper motor control instructions.

Low tech toys meets high tech mod, this is what geeks do with their toys when they grow up!

–via Endgadget

Office toys go on a road trip the only way they can, with the help of Google Street View and stop-motion animation in this animation by Tom Jenkins. Read more about this video at the Atlantic. Link -via Metafilter

Now here’s an impressive kid’s playset. Cia of DeerDot made this impressive four-story structure for her son to play with so he could play Mario brothers without actually turning on a gaming system. The detailed pictures at the link are definitely worth a look, so be sure you click away.

Link Via CraftZine

GameBoy has crawled out of it’s grave and is hungry for some computer brains! This nifty little figurine was made by Kodykoala, a guy who has created an impressive array of custom figures, most of which place beloved Nintendo characters in *ahem* awkward situations. Click on the link and check out Nintendo characters gone wild!

Link –via Destructoid

Child’s Own Studio is a home-based craft business which makes stuffed toys from children’s drawings; some drawings are sent in by adults who want personalized gifts for their children, and sometimes children submit the drawings to make gifts for their parents.  They have a blog, and a gallery of their creations is available on Flickr.

Link, via 22 Words.

We’ve posted about some extremely unsafe toys here. the one that came to mind immediately when I saw the title of this Cracked post was the Atomic Energy Lab, and it’s included. But the others are just as shockingly dangerous! However, I remember some of them from my own childhood, the childhood with no seat belts or bicycle helmets or minimum age for babysitting. Shown here is a kit for children to learn how to melt and mold their own lead, which could not only burn a hole through flesh, but poison your brain as well. NSFW text. Link

Watch some of the most memorable toys from the 1980s turn into each other, including the beloved Transformers and Nintendo cartridges. Today’s Bratz dolls have nothing on marbles. -via Colossal

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m always misplacing all my USB drives and SD cards. Fortunately, someone has finally created a delightful city where they can all go to spend some time together when you’re not using them.

Link Via Geekosystem

Jason Freeny makes some great urban vinyl toys, but this Rubik’s cube for geniuses is a lot more functional than the toys made by most artists. Personally, I think the color patterns are way too hard, so I can’t imagine solving something based only on the patterns.

Link Via Geeks Are Sexy

Photographer Kristina Alexanderson has a great project she’s been participating in this year. Every day, she takes a picture of her stormtrooper toy in a different pose. While this picture of the toy with a Lego version of itself is my favorite, her Flickr gallery is filled with image after image of delightful stormtrooper photos.

Link Via Geeks Are Sexy

If you’ve been looking for some paper dolls to play with that are actually designed for adults instead of kiddos, then BuzzFeed has a great collection of them for your paper-playing pleasure. Time to get printing!

Link

Advertising company Ogilvy & Mather put together a campaign for the plastic model company Tamiya featuring kits that you can use to illustrate your favorite conspiracy theory. This one is for the faked moon landing; others have to do with Roswell, Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, and the Kennedy assassination. Link

If your kiddos are getting tired of boring old regular playdough colors, then try adding some sparkles to the black dough and they can suddenly play with space playdough. If you want to make your own, Fairy Dust Teaching has a great recipe.

Link Via Craftzine

If there’s one thing ridiculously rich people are good at, it’s wasting money. And this list of potential gifts for the world’s most spoiled children is equal parts depressing and hilarious. Just check out this $10,000 teddy bear made with black Tahitian pearl eyes, white alpaca fur and a 10k diamond necklace on a gold chain.

Link

If you miss watching him paint little happy trees, then you can always make your own Bob Ross doll to paint tiny masterpieces on your desktop. At least, that’s what Allison Hoffman of Crafty is Cool did.

Link Via Craftzine

These aren’t the little critters that have been driving kids, and parents, crazy for over 15 years, but personally I find these designs by Gavin Mackey far more appealing. Gotta catch ‘em all? More like make sure they don’t catch you, alone in the dark…

Link -via ComicsAlliance

Reptangles -  $24.95

Are you looking for a fun and fantastic way to teach your child about geometric transformations or how to build complex polyhydra? You need Reptangles from the NeatoShop.  This vibrant toy comes with 24 adorable turtle-shaped reptangles that snap and slide together in over 100 ways.  This is math made fun!

Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more brain boosting Toys & Games!

Link

Artist Jason Freeny isn’t content with viewing the exterior of some of our favorite toy characters, he wants to know what the insides of Care Bears and My Little Ponies look like. His depictions of the creation’s innards are delightful for biology-loving geeks and terrifying for children.

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(YouTube Link)

Anybody who built tracks for their Hot Wheels as a kid will drool when they see this incredible setup! Metropolis II is an amazing, kinetic work of art by Chris Burden that measures 20×30 feet, and features over 1200 matchbox cars that travel at speeds up to 200 scale mph. John Farrier first wrote about this spectacular feat of micro-engineering back in November of 2010, and now it can be seen, live in all its massive glory, at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art beginning this fall. Watch the short doc, made by the same folks who made Catfish, and you’ll see just what the hype is all about.

Link

I hate to admit it, but I’m on a bit of a geek kick still so you’ll have to excuse my extensive Star Wars posts today. That being said, how awesome is this great Salacious Crumb crochet plush? He was created by Allison of Crafty is Cool for the Bird and Bear Gallery’s Stitch Wars Strikes Back show that starts in August.

Link via Craftzine

Remember the good old science kits of yesteryear that contained things like cyanide, uranium, and ammonium nitrate, as well as Bunsen burners and glass vials that are now considered too dangerous for children? Why, you can’t even blow up the kitchen anymore! How do the original science toys stack up against their modern counterparts? Collectors Weekly looks at both the old and the new science kits, which include a lot more than chemistry, and rates the old against the new. We may not have ammonium nitrate anymore, but we have some science kits that our parents and grandparents never had. Link

Etsy seller Nausicaa Distribution sells these precious statistical distribution graph plushies that are just perfect for any Neatorama reader. Of course, if you’re looking for cute nerdy plushes, the Neatoshop is also a great place to go shopping.

Link Via Laughing Squid

Jill Harness is getting ready to cover Comic Con this week in San Diego. I hope she brings back lots of pictures! As a preview, she’s posted a roundup of quite a few products that will be officially unveiled at, or exclusive to, the convention, like this awesome limited edition Nerd Domo. See the rest at Rue the Day. Link

Life is never easy for a Storm Trooper. Invade a new planet, get eaten by a giant kitten! -via Cute Overload

(Image credit: Flicker member Piutus)

Over at the Neatoshop, we have some cool personalized bobbleheads and portraits, but I can’t help but wish that we were able to add Dr. Jesse Weiss’ custom action figures to our shop, but for now we will have to appreciate his collection of action figures based on his colleagues at The University of the Ozarks.

Link Via The Mary Sue

These new Muppet figures dressed as Star Wars characters will be sold at Disney theme parks beginning this fall. You’ll see Sam the Eagle as Obi-Wan Kenobi, Beaker as C-3PO, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew as R2-D2, Fozzy the Bear as Chewbacca, Link Hogthrob as Han Solo, Kermit as Luke Skywalker, Miss Piggy as Princess Leia, Gonzo as Darth Vader, and his chicken Camilla as a Storm Trooper.  Link -via Geeks Are Sexy

This lime-green Lego bike was just one of the highlights of the Brickmagic Lego convention in North Carolina earlier in May. Check out their Flickr photostream for tons of other amazing creations.

Link via Geekologie

The Tumblr blog Animals with Stuffed Animals knows what’s cute, and they have plenty of it. Link -via Metafilter

When I was a kid we had to make do with a Light Bright to entertain us. Now it looks like we are one step closer to children having a robotic, artificially intelligent play friend. Which will be perfect for the child with no friends.

Visual pattern recognition is an important part of human intelligence. It’s a complex process, requiring parallel processing of different types of information such as the shape, color, and contrast of a person’s face. If the robots of the future are going to be able to imitate–or improve upon–our behavior they’re going to need to be pretty adept at pattern recognition. The Nao program for pattern recognition only sees in 2D, but for the purposes of the card game it’s enough.

Link

The art collective named Dorothy created a series of four “green army men” that reflect the reality of many veterans. The figures represent disability, homelessness, violence, and suicide. The art project, called “Casulaties of War,” is not for sale. Link -via Boing Boing

I love to create and inspire. Plus, I love kids. So the hobbyist in me started making highly durable and colorful toys for local kids whenever we roll out the FOB. Toys are universal. They bring out happiness and joy on so many levels. Kids here have nothing but rocks and bad habits. I paint on hearts the toys I make for them to associate that with the heart patches sewn on 101st airborne units’ helmets. So when kids who get these toys see the same hearts on US Soldiers, it will click in him ‘these are friends.’

Read the rest at Infinite Hollywood. Link -via Metafilter

See more of Valero’s works in his Flickr stream. Link

Is there something about a cute bunny rabbit that brings out the perverse side of toy designers? You’d think so by looking at these! The bunnies on this list are scary, bloody, or dead, and may be disturbing to some readers. To be fair, they are marketed to adults. Shown here are the Killer Bunny Slippers of Caerbannog, the most innocuous image of the lot. Link

1. Toy Tazer

There are toy guns, toy bow and arrow sets, toy swords and more, but somehow a toy tazer still seems to take things a touch too far –particularly considering the “Police Electric Baton Shock” actually gives out real shocks.  On the upside, it’s only $3.50, so it’s much cheaper than most kid’s toys.

2. The Kaba Kick

Russian Roulette is a ton of fun, but it’s unfortunately completely permanent. If you want to practice the game without those deadly consequences, then you’d better go ahead and start out with the Kaba Kick and the more gentle pink hippo kicks that replace bullets.

3. Cleaning Trolley

It’s totally normal for kids to pretend to do grown up jobs, after all, some kids play house, some play doctor, some play superhero and some play with chemistry sets, but who wants to be a janitor? Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like a better idea to push your kids towards an intellectual pursuit than a job in the cleaning industry.

4. Playmobile Security Checkpoint

This just might be one of the most popular terrible toys of all time. In fact, it has become sort of a strange collector’s item, accounting for the fact that it costs an incredible $175 on Amazon right now. That’s a pretty big rip off considering how inaccurate the toy is, I mean you can’t even take off the passenger’s shoes before they go through the checkpoint.

5. Peeing Dog

Maybe it’s just me, but part of the point of giving your kids a dog toy is to skirt the responsibility issues that come with giving your kids a real dog. Unfortunately, giving your little ones a dog toy that still pees in the house seems to negate that benefit. But hey, at least he looks cute.

6. Gelli Baff

I have to admit, I’m torn on this one. On the one hand, the gel turns the water into a nasty and disgusting goop and who wants their kids to bathe in something like that? On the other hand, anything that makes your kids want to take a bath is a good thing, right?

7. Pregnant Midge

Originally there was just Barbie, but then she met Ken and started making friends. Eventually Midge hit the scene, but once she got pregnant with Nicky, she just didn’t quite fit in with the partying Barbie crowd. These days, she’s mostly seen at home watching her three children and hoping some giant monster doesn’t come by to rip open her stomach to extract her newest baby.

8. Breast Feeding Doll

There’s nothing wrong with a little girl wanting to play mommy to her dolls, but when she starts breast feeding the toy, that’s when it becomes a problem. If you’re one of those handful of weirdos that thinks a little girl should know how to properly breastfeed an infant though, then this Bebe Gloton doll is just what you need to help make sure your little angel is 100% ready to have a little angel of her own.

9. The Punisher Shape Shifter

While in the box, this toy looks innocent enough, but this toy design just might be one of the most absurd I’ve ever seen. How could this toy actually get through design, research and marketing without anyone realizing just how ridiculous it is to have a giant “power pistol” coming from The Punisher’s groin or butt that shoots when you pull back on the sleeve.

Video link

10. Buzz Lightyear Sippy Cup

There’s nothing outright wrong with the idea of creating a Buzz Lightyear sippy cup…that is, until you put the straw right where his groin should be. To be fair, if you rotate the lid around it’s not so dirty, but the fact that you can even set it up to look like this is still pretty moronic.

11. Harry Potter Vibrating Broom

Again, this toy doesn’t seem like a bad idea until you give a young girl something to stick between her legs –and then make that thing vibrate. It wasn’t long before sex shops and parents alike took notice and Amazon quickly pulled the item from their inventory. But before that happened, the site had some great reviews like “When my 12 year old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too! I recommend this for all children.”

What are your favorite terrible kid’s toys? Please share in the comments.

Aled Lewis is a professional illustrator (featured previously) who posts funny stuff on his Tumblr blog Aled Knows Best. One of his recurring themes is to pose toys to illustrate an unexpected punch line. This is only one of many that made me laugh! Link -via Nag on the Lake

The Gadget Show staged a foot race among various toy robots from all over the world in Manchester, England. The robots were controlled by audience members, which led to utter chaos. Some robots eventually made it to the finish line. See the whole thing at Technabob. Link