Gilbert Gottfried Reads the Independence Day Speech


(Video Link)

In the 1996 movie Independence Day, aliens invade the Earth, intent on exterminating the human race and devouring the planet's resources. The aliens slaughter human military forces wherever they encounter resistance. But on July the Fourth, America leads a great worldwide counterattack that ends in victory.

That counterattack begins with President Thomas Whitmore, played by Bill Pullman, giving an impassioned speech to military forces gathered at Area 51. That speech is embedded below. Gilbert Gottfried, a comedian noted for his commanding and stentorian voice, recently read that speech.

In retrospect, it is clear that Gottfried should have played that role, not Pullman.


(Video Link)

-via Uproxx


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New T-Shirts from the NeatoShop:



For Sale: Chocolate Toilets, Bidets, Sinks, and Bath Tubs

(Photos: Bathrooms.com)

Bathrooms.com is an online retailer of bathroom fixtures, such as fiberglass sinks and toilets. For that company, this chocolate bathroom was a simple response to evidence that there is a market for chocolate bathroom fixtures:

We understand design, functionality, what a shower tray actually does, all of that sort of stuff. Our area of expertise has not historically been confectionary! Nevertheless, of the millions of Google searches for sweet related terms each month, a number of these come to our web site. Why? Because people are regularly searching for "bathroom sweets".

Were people looking to find loo-specific treats, or was this just a simple case of bad spelling?

The answer is pretty obvious. Clearly people wanted bathroom suites, and they just got it a bit wrong. But that got us thinking: just how do bad spelling, a love of confectionery and bathrooms come together like that?

The company's response was to build a bathroom made of chocolate. Choccywoccydoodah, a British chocolatier, provided rich Belgian chocolate for the task.

All the chocolate objects that you see here are on sale. That bidet costs $11,656 (USD) and contains 210,000 calories. The entire set costs $133,196 and will add 9.4 million calories to your diet, should you choose to eat it.

The company claims that the chocolate fixtures will remain solid for 6 months if kept at room temperature. But let's be honest: you're going to eat it all long before them. 

-via That's Nerdalicious!


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Kid Scribbles On Wall, Creative Mom Fixes It

Kids love to share their newfound love of art with their family, but sometimes this freedom of artistic expression means the folks are left cleaning up major messes around the house.

Little artists spill on the carpet, mark on tabletops and smear fingerpaints all over the furniture, and in their young eyes those blank walls are just dying for an artistic makeover.

Usually when kids write on the walls it means the parents have to scrub the whole mess off, sometimes even repaint to cover up the mess, but one crafty mom went along with her child’s artistic streak instead of covering it up.

With a little design ingenuity, and some beautifully painted organic shapes, she was able to turn the scribbles into a bit of decorative flair, and her ingenious solution was shared with the world by Redditor jerschneid.

-Via Bored Panda

See more about baby and kids at NeatoBambino

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A Day in the Life of a Pizza Tool

(YouTube link)

This guy put a GoPro camera on his pizza tongs while he worked at a pizza parlor. What you’ll see is pizza after pizza coming out of the over all hot and tasty. It’s downright mesmerizing, and you’ll find yourself checking out the various ingredients and starting to crave a slice or two yourself. Oh look! That one has shrimp on it! There are some toippings I can't quite figure out, but they're most likely delicious anyway. Someone in the comments suggested that he next put the camera on the pizza slicer, but I would imagine that would be quite dizzying. -via Viral Viral Videos

We dish up more neat food posts at the Neatolicious blog

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Pun Filled Pop Culture Street Art By JPS

There’s a really punny guy from the Uk running around adding a touch of street art wonder to city walls.

He’s a bit of a character, and every stencil or painting he puts up has something to say, generally something meant to make city life a bit more fun. 

He calls himself JPS, and his enjoyable images and phrases are popping up on walls all over the place, for instance the interior walls of a sanitarium in Norway that was about to be demolished.

His addition of horror icons to the sanitarium walls seems very appropriate for such a spooky place, and you can almost see the little Black Metal kids in there drinking beer, breaking stuff and enjoying the impromptu street art gallery. 

JPS is more than just a punster with a stencil and a spray can- he's a lover of pop culture, a skilled painter, and someone who is creatively critical of the very street art scene he actively participates in, poking fun at his fellow graffiteurs. 

-Via The Roosevelts/Riotdaily


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I Want To Know What Love Is - His Heart Has Been Through The Shredder


I Want To Know What Love Is by Rocky Davies

He had been shredding for years, he had hundreds of foot ninjas under his command, and yet that steely master of crime was missing one major thing in his life- true love. He didn't want to destroy those mutant turtles, he was simply acting out of jealousy towards their relationship with April, but he couldn't bring himself to face the fact that life without love just ain't worth livin'!

Take your geeky style back to the animated 80s with this I Want To Know What Love Is t-shirt by Rocky Davies, it's the coolest way to show your love for mutant ninjas and misunderstood samurai.

Visit Rocky Davies's Facebook fan page, official website and Tumblr, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more ridiculously cool designs:

The Darth Knight Jingle Bells, Someone Smells, Someone Laid An Egg! The Dreams In Which I'm Dying Corpses 'N' Cream

View more designs by Rocky Davies | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!


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Completely Rational Sentences You Could Say Today That Would Sound Crazy 20 Years Ago


(Through Time t-shirt now on sale at the NeatoShop)

At Ask Reddit, nepat1248 asks:

What is a completely rational sentence you could speak today, that if you said 20 years ago, people would think you were insane?

This is a fun question! Many people offered references to how technology has changed our daily lives. AI0 writes:

I store my contacts in the cloud.

Saintarium comments on the dystopian horror that we currently live in:

"I can't wait for Disney to finish making the next Avengers and Star Wars movies!"

Who could have predicted that Facebook would exist? Not sp0rk_walker:

All those people from high school you never thought you would see again? Well you still won't talk to them but you will see pictures of their kids every day.

Bkvm96 is ready to lead a cult:

"I have 2000 followers!"

GalaxyAwesome clicked on the wrong button:

Aw man, I accidentally liked her photo.

TheMobHasSpoken points out that, culturally speaking, we've advanced in some ways:

"You know what really transcends the age and gender demographic it was designed for? My Little Pony."

What confusing sentences can you write?


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The Luckiest Biker in Belarus

(YouTube link)

A dashcam in Mogilev, Belarus, caught footage of a motorcyclist crashing into the back end of a moving car. The biker manages to land on his feet, though. I would say “don’t blink or you’ll miss it,” but it’s a video. Not only can you back it up, but they will show it again in slow motion. If this stunt were put into a movie, people would just laugh at how unbelievable it is. There is a translation of the in-car conversation at reddit, but it’s mostly profanity. -via Daily Picks and Flicks


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A Conference Table That's Sure to Impress

A good conference table should impress people while intimidating them so you can always get the upper hand. This Boeing 747 engine coffee table is certain to do both. 

The one-of-a-kind item was created by MotoArt, but if it's just too big for your needs, they do have a coffee table available that is made with the much smaller DC-9 engine. Of course, if cost is a factor, the items probably aren't right for you, given that the prices are only available by inquiry.

See more pictures of the uniquely item at Homes and Hues: Your Ideas Can Take Off With This Jumbo Jet Conference Table


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Help!: The Beatles' Second Movie

Neatorama presents a guest post from actor, comedian, and voiceover artist Eddie Deezen. Visit Eddie at his website or at Facebook.


The huge success, financially, critically, and personally, of the Beatles' first film A Hard Day's Night in 1964 made a follow-up film an inevitability. And everything pointed to this next film being superior to A Hard Day's Night. After all, the locations for this second film would be the Bahamas and the Austrian Alps.

The Beatles liked these locations because they wanted to have a fun holiday while filming (their manager, Brian Epstein, liked the tax breaks they would get in the Bahamas.) Richard Lester and Walter Shenson, the respective director and producer of A Hard Day's Night, would be returning too. The budget would be double that of A Hard Day's Night and this time the movie would be filmed in glorious Technicolor. But as they say, the best laid plans of mice and Beatles...

Filming began in the Bahamas on February 22, 1965. The film's ultra-flimsy plot was something about an Eastern cult losing a mystic sacrificial ring and Ringo somehow finding it. The Eastern villains chase Ringo around, trying to get their sacred ring back, and this leads to a combination James Bond-like spy film and a semi-merry chase romp as John, Paul and George try to save their drummer pal from the fiendish baddies.

From day one, it very quickly became apparent that the Beatles were, shall we say, indulging. John was to recall: “We were smoking marijuana for breakfast during this period. Nobody could communicate with us, it was all glazed eyes and giggling all the time.”

Ringo added: “If you look at pictures of us, you can see a lot of red-eyed shots. They were red from the dope we were smoking.”

The boys' beautiful female co-star, Eleanor Bron, remembered John (who she had an on-set affair with) offering her a joint one day and her timidly taking a quick puff.

George recalled the boys filming a rather innocuous scene where a pipe is dropped out the window of Buckingham Palace and several of the Army Guard dropping onto the ground, put to sleep by blue smoke emanating from the hose. George and his mates kept breaking up into fits of the giggles, ruining take after take, and the routine scene took up almost a full day to film. Poor director Lester, a very patient man, realized that if he didn't get a scene filmed by around noon, he may as well pack up for the day.

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Today I Learned: Canadians Don't Use Money

(Completely Serious Comics)

I read it in a webcomic, so it must be true. Just be sure to exchange all of your compliments before crossing back over the border because American businesses usually won't take them as currency. But I understand that Alex may give a discount at the NeatoShop if you notice after he has had his hair done without him dropping a hint. 


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When Mama Birds Attack

YouTube Link

This bird in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park isn't welcoming the throngs of visitors that the park receives daily. To show her displeasure, she proceeds to dive bomb those people who dare to walk past her nest. Where's Alfred Hitchcock when you need him? Via 22 Words.


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If Cereal Mascots Had Their Own Action Figures

Artist Phil Postma has a great eye for remixing pop culture. We've previously seen him create Pixar-style superheroes, Pixar versions of classic pulp filmsThunderCats characters from other cultures, and superhero-branded cereals.

For a recent project, Postma returned to his interest in classic kids' cereal brands by creating action figures for mascots and placing them in blister packs. Look, this one is mint on card!

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Fennec Fox Kits Born in Tel Aviv



The Zoological Center Tel Aviv-Ramat Gan welcomed two fennec fox kits after a fifteen-year wait for a birth of the species. Fennec fox couple Penny and Louis de Fennec, both four years old, spent the 50-day gestation period of their offspring burrowing tunnels in their enclosure. The tunnels were an addition to their home to accomodate the new kits.

Mother Penny was aggressive during the gestation and after the birth of her kits, an instinctive measure of protection. Penny hid her babies in the newly dug burrows soon after they were born. Their keepers kept their enclosure private at that time, in order for the mama and papa to have bonding time with their kits. Currently, keepers are slowly introducing them to their loving public. 

Fennec foxes are native to the Sahara in Northern Africa as well as Northern Saudi Arabia. Their large ears not only cool the fox by losing excess heat, but they also enable them to hear predators from a great distance. The fennec fox is a nocturnal animal, escaping the heat during the day as it rests in its burrow. The life span of the species is approximately ten years. Via Zooborns. 

Images Credit: Zoological Center Tel Aviv-Ramat Gan

 
 

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Woman Sends Text Messages to Thief Who Stole Her Minivan, Convinces Him to Give It Back


(Video Link)

Megan Bratten of Independence, Missouri walked out of the K-Mart and found that her minivan was gone. She's a single mother of five kids, so money is tight. The loss of the van appeared to be a devastating blow.

Then Bratten remembered that there was a phone in the van. So she sent a text message to it, hoping that the thief would respond. He did and they had a conversation. After she sent a total of five texts, the thief agreed to give up the van. He gave her step-by-step directions to its location. Bratten found the van in good condition.

In fact, it was in even better condition. She had mentioned that the van had a bad transmission. When Bratten found the van, there was an empty bottle of transmission fluid in it. The thief had refilled the reservoir.

-via I Own the World


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Japan McDonalds Now Carries Couple-Sized Jumbo Sodas (Because Japan)

forever alone coke

Image Via Kotaku

It seems the sizes of soda cups in certain fast food chains has grown from cup sized single servings to barrells that a small army could live off of for three weeks. Japanese versions of the McDonalds chain is now offering a jumbo sized coke. But there is a slight catch, as you can see from the photo above. The drink is massive, but comes with a reminder that you are either destined to die alone, or that you at least have someone with you who loves you enough to take the journey to the other side with you.

There is, after all, nothing more romantic than the person who is willing to get diabetes with/for you, is there? Also, seems a great way for the fast food chain to remind people they should not be guzzling back that much carbonated sugar water by themselves. Either that, or remind them of the constant looming shadow that is is their epic loneliness.

Either or.

(Kotaku)

We dish up more neat food posts at the Neatolicious blog

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Defeat Is Coming - A Kart-astrophe In The Making


Defeat Is Coming by mdk7

When you're racing around the kart track trying to take first place you don't have time to spot every turtle shell, bomb and banana peel that is thrown at you. Sometimes you just have to ignore the incoming obstacles and keep your head in the game, and remember that you're trying to become racing royalty and take your rightful place on the throne. But when the race is drawing to a close, and your opponents are throwing everything they have at you, beware of that winged shell that spells defeat...

Raise awareness about track related injury with this Defeat Is Coming t-shirt by mdk7, because it gets mighty cold in the loser's circle.

Visit mdk7's Twitter, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more kart-errific designs:

Clicker Skull-The Last Of Us Hokusai Gojira One Scissor To Rule Them All BANANA!

View more designs by mdk7 | More Video Games | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!


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Slippery Squirrel

(YouTube link)

How to keep a squirrel from eating the seed that’s meant for the birds? Vaseline! If you do this, make sure you have a camera ready, like Robert Krampf did.  

For anyone who is concerned about the squirrel, he still raids our other two feeders and the vegetable garden. The tiny amount of Vaseline used is non-toxic, the kind used for lip balm. He quickly learned that this feeder was not worth the trouble, so we have not put more on the pole, and the birds are delighted to actually get some of the bird seed.

-via Tastefully Offensive

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Metafilter Asks: What Are the Worst Songs?

When you think of the worst songs of all time, what kind of music do you think of? What is great about that question is that bad music is subjective. Coldplay being a perfect example because some people adore them, and some people think they are elevator music with lyrics. Though we can say what we think on the subject, there is no right or wrong answer. But Metafilter put together a forum with that exact question, and some of these answers are pure gold.

Just keep in mind, you are going to see a few songs you secretly love on there. I saw "Lady in Red" and got mad for a second, and then remembered it was my parent's wedding song and they divorced, so maybe there is even some truth in the songs you don't want to see on there. Either way, bad music is mostly subjective (but some music is just plain bad).

Via DarkRoastedBlend 


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Foo Fighters' Response to Ice Bucket Challenge is a Horror Show

YouTube Link

At this point we've seen about all we can take of people responding to the ice bucket challenge in support of the ALS Association. Perhaps Dave Grohl and the other Foo Fighters anticipated this, and projected the terror inward, resulting in this horror film parody. Dave, go to your closet and ask to be forgiven! Via Viral Viral Videos.


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Man Poses for Mug Shot in a T-Shirt with a Photo of His Old Mug Shot

In June, Robert Burt of Pittsfield, Maine was arrested for drunk driving and driving without a license. He pled guilty and was sentenced to two days in jail. A friend of his printed him a t-shirt with his original mug shot and a caption that included "sponsored by Bud Light and Somerset County Sheriff."

When Burt reported to the jail to serve his time, he wore that shirt. So when deputies took his intake mug shot, he was wearing a shirt showing his previous mug shot.

What should he do next? Perhaps Burt should take this photo, print it on another shirt, and go get arrested again. It's time to take this to the next level.

-via Dave Barry


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Laura Jenkinson's Lip Makeup Characters

Laura Jenkinson is a makeup artist in London. She can do a lot more than make you look pretty. She also shapes cartoon characters around her mouth--and presumably yours, too. Which characters would you like to see her make next?

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The Coach’s Speech

(YouTube link)

Dave Belisle is the coach of the Cumberland American Little League team of Rhode Island, the New England regional champions. They were eliminated from the Little League World Series regional finals by a team from Chicago. The coach gave the kids a speech they will always remember. Tom Hanks said there's no crying in baseball, but you may feel a little sting behind the eyes. This is what Little League should be. -via reddit

See more about baby and kids at NeatoBambino

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Microsoft Recreates Their 1994 Website

Image Via Microsoft

Do you remember the web from 20 years ago? With its five colors and thin, ugly fonts? Every website seemed to have a space theme, and you could tell people were clearly working on a canvas they were not yet familiar. Though the web has undeniably come far, sometimes it is cool to flashback willingly and see just how cheesy and simplified it was.

In case any of you have forgotten, Microsoft have recently re-released their websites in 1994 format, which you can check out right here. It is exactly as ugly and odd and cumbersome as you would think. Yet, it also stands as a time capsule to how far we have come aesthetically and otherwise in these last two decades.

So check it out. They tell you how they built the site and there are some other cool little odds and ends once you get to clicking. Mainly, though, you will be laughing that we once thought this all looked incredibly cool.

Via Waxy


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Barely Legal Pawn

(YouTube link)

Barely Legal Pawn stars Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul, together again in new roles after Breaking Bad. In this episode, Julia Louis-Dreyfus tries to pawn her Emmy because she’s desperate for cash (yeah, right). Meanwhile, the store proprietors know more than they let on about Emmy Awards. If this were only real! It’s not a series, but it should be. This is a promo spot for the upcoming Emmy Awards Show. -via Warming Glow


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Lego Academics

The LEGO Research Institute, featuring three females scientists and their gear, is now available in stores and online. Donna Yates, an American archaeologist in Glasgow, Scotland, bought one of the first sets as soon as they went on sale -plus a few extra pieces for creativity’s sake. She recreates scenes from her own life in archaeology and academia and posts them to her new Twitter account, Lego Academics. Although the account only went live on Friday, Yates already has thousands of followers, as so many scientists and academics can relate to her LEGO scenes. The most popular, shown here, is about dealing with paperwork. Yates told the Washington Post the real-life story that inspired it.

“This scene was ripped from real life: the Lego set was delivered to my office right when my office mate (another female academic) and I were filling out our performance evaluations: a slow, frustrating task which was keeping us from what we really love, namely our research. I think that scene struck a chord with other academics because it was brutally realistic. We’ve all been there, and been there more often than we want.”

Other vignettes deal with drinking as stress relief and a dinosaur fossil that wants to be the boss. Yates says she’s been a LEGO fan since childhood, and will continue to post such scenes “as long as it’s funny.”  -via Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader


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Cat and Squirrel Circus Act

Aw, look at this squirrel balancing on his nose on the cat’s outstretched paw! Yeah, that’s what it looks like, but the squirrel is outside, clinging to the invisible screen door, while the poor cat is stuck inside. Redditor oona36 says this squirrel is always teasing her cats. One of these days, the cats will bolt outside, and it won’t be so funny for the squirrel then!  

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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You Are The Special! - Believe In The Power Of Bricks


You are the Special! by Prismic Designs

You've been building with interlocking bricks for years, making models of everything that comes to mind and filling up your house with your original brick designs, but you still don't believe in yourself or your building abilities. Take it from the little brickheaded guy with Morgan Freeman's voice- you are the special, and everything is awesome!

Building toys have never made you feel as awesome as you'll feel when you wear this You Are The Special! t-shirt by Prismic Designs, build and believe!

Visit Prismic Designs's Facebook fan page and Tumblr, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more brick-tastically geeky designs:

A Link Between Towns Batmon & Fletchling My Little Xerneas Legend of the Dragonballs

View more designs by Prismic Designs | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!


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The LEGO Ghostbusters Movie

(YouTube link)

Monsieur Caron of BrickFun spent all summer working on a LEGO movie version of Ghostbusters. Now that school is about to start, he must go back to teaching history. But what a great project to show his students! And you may be surprised and delighted by who gets to play the role of Slimer in this. The behind-the-scenes video is pretty cool, too! -via Geeks Are Sexy


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NYC Choking Posters Get An Artistic Makeover

State laws often require restaurants to have a sign clearly posted in the dining room that shows how to help someone who is choking, and in New York the official poster was designed by the New York Times own Steve Duenes.

Steve’s poster is pretty snazzy compared to most first aid posters, but New Yorkers are a fickle bunch, and when they grew bored of the same old choking poster artists came to the rescue with brand new renditions.

There’s one featuring Bea Arthur using the Heimlich maneuver on a unicorn by Jason O’Malley:

An action packed, Escape From New York themed poster by Phil Ashworth:

And Grey Jay’s dramatic dance themed Tango poster created for Malbec and Tango House in NYC, which shows how the act of saving a person's life can have a rhythm all its own:

These artsy choking posters are spicing up the world of restaurant safety, and giving folks something fun to look at while they thoroughly chew their bread.

-Via Juxtapoz


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Check out Twaggies' very funny clip:

Give a Man a Fish - Twaggies by Twaggies
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