(Cheesy Vampire Impersonation)-He vants to suck your cheese, ah ah ah!
Look into the eyes of the vampire rat and you will forever be under his spell, bringing him cheese at all hours of the night and ridding the neighborhood of stray cats.
He's very charming, in an LED lights for eyes kind of way, and he can be all yours if the price is right! No, really, someone's selling this crazy guy on Etsy, unleashing a vampire rat on the world for some cold hard cash. *shudder*