Cockney ATM

By John Farrier in Everything Else on Aug 25, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Photo: Times of London

Bank Machine, an ATM operator in Britain, now has five cash machines in London that offer users the opportunity to conduct their business in the cockney dialect. It’s a promotional gimmick designed to amuse customers:

“Readin’ your bladder of lard”, read the message on the screen. It asked for his “Huckleberry Finn”. Then more bewildering questions: did he wanted to see his balance on the Charlie Sheen? Did he wish to change his Huckleberry Finn or did he simply require sausage and mash, with or without a receipt?

Tags: ATM, Bank Machine, cockney, dialects, English language

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Skipweasel
Aug 25th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I always thought marketing departments were a load of bankers.
Alan
Aug 25th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Now if only someone could hack this to be the default.
GQ
Aug 26th, 2009 at 6:59 am
Cockney Rhyming Slang is the most worthless, godawful thing that’s ever happened to our species. It is made 18 TIMES worse when used non-ironically by non-cockneys.
Tim Giachetti
Aug 26th, 2009 at 7:04 am
Can’t wait for the “ebonics” version.

“Bitch bettah have mah money!”
Jake.w.B
Aug 26th, 2009 at 8:07 am
Most septics wont get this
Jake.w.B
Aug 26th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Septic tank rhyms with Yank, hence people from the US are known as Septics
Tim Giachetti
Aug 26th, 2009 at 9:21 am
OK who is deleting comments John?
John
Aug 26th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Tim, it’s good that you can express your opinions strongly, but I’d appreciate it if you’d cut back on the foul language.
Tim Giachetti
Aug 26th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Let me explain things to you John.

People feel what they say in a comment to be of importance. Maybe to others but normally to themselves.
Ifd you continue to delete their comments, they will stop coming to Neatorama.
So, Basically, it’s not what you want, it’s what we, the commenters, like.
If you want a site to die, well then, treat the visitors like crap and delete their comments.
John
Aug 26th, 2009 at 10:35 am
I agree that comments should be deleted only very sparingly, and for the reasons that you mention. But I also think that Neatorama is marketed as a place to relax and find neat things for amusement. A hostile environment isn’t good for business, and I know that some people don’t read the comments and participate in the conversations therein because of that hostile environment. As you suggest “treat visitors like crap” and they’ll leave and not return. You cussed out another reader. Will that make him more likely or less likely to return?

Alex leaves it up to individual authors to decide how to moderate their own threads. I’d like to find a middle ground where people can express themselves freely, but not verbally abuse others. And for myself, getting cussed out and/or insulted by customers is not in my job description. That’s why your “blow me John” and “your shitty blog” etc. comments got delted.

I know that it’s not fun to get a comment deleted, and I don’t want to hurt your feelings or make you feel unwelcome. But I do want to create and work in an environment that is free from abuse.

Can you understand my point of view?
Tim Giachetti
Aug 26th, 2009 at 10:40 am
Not at all John.

Politics is what is ruining about every country in the world today. I insist you speak with Alex as I sure he won’t agree with your logic at all.

Please, you can do as you wish on your very slightly visited blog, but not here as you aren’t in charge.
If you were anything like Alex your blog would be visited much more than it is and you wouldn’t be posting here at all.

Free speech jerk off, it’s what makes Neatorama neat.
And while your at this deletion jag, delete the prejudiced Yank trolling that started this war between us.

Bye bye John, go back to the blog you came from.
Tim Giachetti
Aug 26th, 2009 at 11:40 am
“And for myself, getting cussed out and/or insulted by customers is not in my job description”

Referring to us as “customers” really proves my point.
John
Aug 26th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
A few questions, Tim:

Would you go into a place of business, let’s say a retail outlet, and cuss out the workers or customers?

If you did, what would you expect to happen as a result?

Would you cuss out co-workers or family members?

If you did, what would you expect to happen as a result?

In either case, would you expect that “free speech” would be accepted as justification for doing so?
Tim Giachetti
Aug 26th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Oh, BTW, surfing the internet and taking someone elses work is not a job

“is not in my job description”

Jesus man, maybe you need a job.
Tim Giachetti
Aug 26th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
And again you delete a valid point.

“And I wave my magic wand. Troll be gone”

By John, you’re a real waste of my time and by far the biggest Troll I’ve seen on this site in 2 years.

Buhbye, please watch your step as you depart from reality John.
John
Aug 26th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Valid point or not, Tim, cuss me out and get deleted.
Tim Giachetti
Aug 26th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
It’s OK John. You do what you think is right.

Because, as I just told Alex in our Emails to each other, I sure am going to do what I think is right.
Bad Bubby
Aug 26th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Tim, are you the sep gun nut?
Tempscire
Aug 27th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
“Free speech jerk off, it’s what makes Neatorama neat.”

I thought it was all the interesting links that made Neatorama neat. =p

Also, you have no understanding of the concept of free speech. For starters, that clause only protects you from the federal government, not private entities. It also doesn’t protect you from others’ reactions to whatever you decide to say, including comment-deletion reactions. Telling you to shut up or to at least stop swearing (or even ridiculing you for being an oversensitive, self-righteous, brash jerk) is nowhere close to violating your rights.

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