Cucumber Thief Stumps Authorities

1. tomtom
   August 22nd, 2009 at 7:57 pm

   To the nunnery!

2. The Todd
   August 22nd, 2009 at 8:11 pm

   They should put stickers (Little red dots or something) on the lids of all of a store's pickle jars and only that one store (Preferably a big store that's likely to get hit). Then anybody who finds a jar of pickles with a red dot on it knows it was stolen from that store (the stickers will be removed when purchased)!

3. Phirzcol
   August 22nd, 2009 at 8:23 pm

   Each batch of delectables might have a dicernable mineral specta from the other

4. Anonymouse
   August 22nd, 2009 at 8:32 pm

   Inject some of the pickles in each batch with a weak radioactive isotope in different quantities depending on the batch. If any significant amount of the batch is stolen, one of the pickles can be identified by measuring the amount of remaining radioactive isotope.. The isotopes should be fine in the body because they use that stuff all the time for MRI experiments.

5. Wes
   August 22nd, 2009 at 8:48 pm

   Question is, who stole that I from before that E?

   Oh, it's just hiding ...

6. redphone
   August 22nd, 2009 at 9:19 pm

   Well it's easy enough to permanently mark the cucumbers somehow in the future if such security is of interest to the farmer, but the real problem here is how to track this year's crop, or the portion that has gone out already.

   I'm sure the structure of the cucumbers could be examined, and different markers exclusive to their home patch could be identified, but frankly, who's going to spend that kind of money for testing.

   No doubt, everyone knows everyone in the local pickle industry. Eventually, some stranger is going to show up with a big crop of cucumbers (or pickles) to sell and it's going to tip off the others. Police can come in ask for the paper trail and hopefully pin them down that way.

   Unless the crooks are about to make a bunch of salad or relish...

7. argon
   August 22nd, 2009 at 10:20 pm

   simple answer: RFID-Powder

8. Mambo
   August 23rd, 2009 at 12:23 am

   well, the answer is obvious.
   He wants to do something so dastardly, so unpredictable, that it would leave Dr. Doofenshmirtz in shambles!

9. BenZarius
   August 23rd, 2009 at 3:29 am

   Not sure, but it sounds to me like they're in quite a pickle.

10. Skipweasel
    August 23rd, 2009 at 4:00 am

    Perhaps it's related to this...

    http://www.recyclemysextoy.com/

11. Larfin Jackarse
    August 23rd, 2009 at 6:40 am

    Hmmm...that is very near Snowtown.

12. Tim Giachetti
    August 23rd, 2009 at 10:12 am

    Hahahahaha, M.C. Hammer Time!

    Can't touch this!

13. Pickle me that!!
    August 23rd, 2009 at 10:40 am

    ... Pickle surprise!!

14. Morgan
    August 23rd, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    tomtom I think I just woke my baby up laughing!

15. Jebediah
    August 23rd, 2009 at 11:01 pm

    You'll never track me down! I can't be caught! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oops...

16. Skylar
    August 24th, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    put a bomb inside a cucumber and when you notice it is missing, detonate it. The house that blows up will belong to the pickle snatcher. duh.

17. Ron D.
    August 24th, 2009 at 10:39 pm

    They should be on gourd for anything suspicious.

18. Taters
    August 25th, 2009 at 11:35 am

    Those wacky Aussies!
    Always looking for a new way to go out and get pickled.

19. The Dust
    August 25th, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    As a result of the current economic crisis McDonald's was forced to lay off some long term employees.The Hamburglar had snuck in to corporate and saw his name on the chopping block list. The Hamburglar hatched a brilliant scheme to trade keeping his coveted position by offering up free pickles to the global conglomerate. McDonald's agreed. The Hamburglar proceeded to pull off the largest cucumber heist the world has ever seen and has the fry guys working double time turning them into pickles.

20. Anonn
    August 25th, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    I would have tainted a batch with laxatives.
    Once a neighborhood complains of diarrhea, ask them who they bought from.
    Also those people will be deterred from buying black market produce.

    2 birds, 1 stone

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